Wesleyan lexicon lesson #1

Carp (kärp):
n. pl. carp or carps

1. An edible freshwater fish (Cyprinus carpio) of Europe and Asia that is frequently bred in ponds and lakes.

2. Any of various fishes of the family Cyprinidae.
3. A fretful complaint.

intr.v.

1. To find fault in a disagreeable way; complain fretfully.

2. To so miserably fuck up your reputation in the greater Wesleyan community that you can’t even pick up your own food at Weswings.

On February 24th, 2006, the Argus ran this gem of a wespeak by a certain Evan Carp ’07. Words really can’t sum up the article so I highly suggest you read it yourself. Here’s a tidbit:
“Certainly, we cannot suggest that it is ALL Muslims who are hateful and violent[…] I am not attempting to claim that all Muslims behave this way. But it certainly does seem that nearly all people who behave this way are Muslims.”

Understandably, come publication of the next Argus four days later, the wespeaks section explodes.

“Friendly discussion” of this matter continues for two epic months. For fun times, head over to the Argus website and search for “Carp”. Cheers!