Say hello to my little friend.

IKEA not cutting it anymore? Want to have the most comfortable, fun, and stylish room accessory? Ditch your bean bag chair and get Archibald the Giant Squid.

Archibald is 15 feet long and can be made in whatever colors you’d like. Their creators assure us that they’re working on a 3-footer for those of you who just want to be tentacle-carressed, not tentacle-eaten.

I say go whole hog and invite Archibald into your life. Come on, it’s a GIANT FUCKING SQUID. Freak out your friends when they’re tripping! Hang him in the trees on Foss Hill during Wesfest! Take out his stuffing and fly him like a kite! Earn extra pocket money by charging people to get their picture taken with him!

Holly adds: If a $1,200 squid really isn’t your cuppa, maybe you’re likely to cream over decorating your dorm in plush toiletries. My Paper Crane offers a vast array of stitchery, but their tampons and toilet paper would probably take the cake for weirdest teddy-bear alternatives to date.

toilet paper roll, $15.

tampon doll, $10.