What are you doing RIGHT NOW

So my boyfriend has to be at school a week early every year for cross country training and it’s funny to hear his take on the freshmen (more so since he is a junior living on a hall with many freshmen). He’s particularly unnerved about how few of them have their doors open and/or are out and about on this, the first day of their Wesleyan careers.

Anyway, the point is that there is a particular behavior from freshmen that everyone expects and is repeated year after year by each incoming class. The year before us did it, we did it, and the year after did it. So we reasonably presume ’10 is going to, too.

With that said, behaviors you will catch yourself and/or fellow frosh doing:

• Walking around campus in large groups of people from your hall. To Mocon. To the bookstore. To get your mail. To the bathroom.

• Listening to esoteric music very loudly on your speakers hoping someone totally awesome will notice and congratulate you on rocking the universe.

• Same goes with playing your acoustic guitar.

• If left without large entourage of hallmates, you will resort to talking on cellphone with parent and/or friend from home at a different college. Conversations will be loud and demonstrate in some way or another how great college is and how well you’re fitting in here in hopes other people will hear said phone call and congratulate you on rocking the universe.

• Upon learning the names of a new person who has managed to break ranks with their halltourage and join yours, you immediately run back to your dorm room and check facebook to check the orientation of their sexual compass.

• You begin getting very sick of your halltourage and plot ways to break into that more attractive looking table that sits next to yours at Mocon.

• Limiting what is on your itunes playlist so you look like you have great taste in music (via Molly Hartman ’07)

• Hall-lusting: that period of time (like two days) where you awkardly flirt with hallmate before actually committing hallcest.

• Abandoning the major you wrote on your application for Film because you heard someone say that’s what all the cool people at Wesleyan do. (Around the end of sophomore year, you will then drop the Film major for English.)

• Dumping girlfriends and boyfriends from home at other universities to whom you pledged your devoted fidelity because the hot chick down the hall for whom you are hall-lusting said she’s obssessed with acoustic guitar (and OMG *you* play acoustic guitar!).

• Joining every club and auditioning for every group and actually going to the first meetings only to abandon them all by the second week of October to devote more time to your band, the Waiting Goes.

• Already, you’ve sworn off shaving forever.

• Same goes for showering.

More on: freshmen – class of 2010 – orientation – wesleyan university – poor hygiene – hooking up – hallcest – indie music – acoustic guitar