Pay to have your essay written by idiots!

Oh, we all know what it’s like to spend your entire night holed up in a computer lab slamming out a feminist critique on the movie Babe. But now, apparently, you can hire some fucking morons to write your papers for you!

The New York Times ordered some relatively generic questions to be answered from some online services in hopes to evaluate them on their quality:

The Orwell/Huxley essay, prepared by Term Paper Relief and a relative bargain at $49.75 for five pages, begins: “Although many similarities exist between Aldous Huxley’s ‘A Brave New World’ and George Orwell’s ‘1984,’ the works books [sic] though they deal with similar topics, are more dissimilar than alike.” That’s certainly a relief, because we couldn’t have an essay if they weren’t.

Elsewhere the author proves highly adept with the “on the one hand/on the other” formula, one of the most valuable tools for a writer concerned with attaining his assigned word count, and says, for example, of “Brave New World”: “Many people consider this Huxley’s most important work: many others think it is his only work. This novel has been praised and condemned, vilified and glorified, a source of controversy, a subject for sermons, and required reading for many high school students and college undergraduates. This novel has had twenty-seven printings in the United States alone and will probably have twenty-seven more.”

Yeah. And he paid like $50 for that.

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