It’s true! Apparently caffeine IS cocaine!

A new energy drink is hitting the market in the UK and it’s called, seriously, Cocaine:

The high-energy drink is being billed as a “legal alternative” to the class A drug, using a massive hit of caffeine instead of cocaine.

The drink’s inventor, Jamie Kirby, said: “It’s an energy drink, and it’s a fun name. As soon as people look at the can, they smile.”

He claims Cocaine is “350 percent stronger than Red Bull” but that people do not experience the “sugar crash” or jitters that he says some of the other energy drinks can produce.

Ok, the marketing and societal ramifications of 10-year-olds slamming down drinks called Cocaine are just so obvious that they’re hardly worth talking about.

But still, be warned that this drink may soon be available at Weshop. And I will review it. Because I am basically immune to any form of enery drink ESPECIALLY YOU, COCAINE.

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