In sickness and in health

I’ve mentioned multiple times that I get ill easily. In fact, we’ve been at school for a month and a half and I’ve already been shivery hate-everything sick twice. Take that, immune system.

While there’s really not much you can do once you fall ill, here are some products that help alleviate your suffering (sort of):

Emergen-C: This shit is awesome. I don’t know if it’s just the placebo effect, but when I start to get sick I drink two packets of the stuff a day and it seems to help me get better faster. Definitely not a cure-all, and you won’t feel any immediate effects, but each packet has 1,667% of your daily need for Vitamin C. Now, I realize that the extra Vitamin C just gets pissed out of your system, but I’m willing to deal with the waste if it keeps me from getting scruvy from my all ramen-and-hot-sauce diet. I recommend the Tropical flavor and discourage you from trying the Lemon-Lime. Also, if you write them an e-mail talking about how great their product is, they’ll send you a free ugly t-shirt with the Emergen-C logo.

Ibuprofen: If you go to the Health Center, they’ll give you a handful of little packets of generic Advil. They’re bitter, but hey, it’s free. Pain reliever, fever reducer, cute little tablets–What’s not to love? Don’t take too many, though, ’cause you’ll just hurt your liver.

Benadryl: I don’t like to take Tylenol PM or Nyquil when I need to sleep, just because I don’t want to load up on the acetaminophen. Benadryl helps with the sneezy runny cold nose, and the active ingredient is the same as in over the counter sleeping pills. Two tablets will put me out in half an hour.

OB tampons: So this is totally weird and uncool, but if you have a nose running like a faucet and need to be able to sleep without waking up in a pool of mucous, stick one of these tiny tampons up your nostril. I’m serious. It’s about the size of your pinky. Just don’t tell your friends, or, uh, post it to the internet. Or you can just twist up a kleenex and use that, loser.

Chamomile tea: Tasty, calming, and warm things in your tummy will help prevent the nighttime shivers.

Honey: Much more effective than crappy imitation cherry cough drops. And tastier. Mix in a spoonful with your chamomile tea. Sweet dreams!

Not readily available, but really helpful anyways:

Albuterol: If you’re an asthmatic, using your rescue inhaler helps you breathe ten times better than drinking Robotussin and waiting to hack up your lungs. Of course, don’t abuse prescription medicine, etc., etc.

Things that do jack shit:


Cough Drops: My friends think I’m crazy, but I fucking hate cough drops. They taste terrible, leave a bad aftertaste, and make your mouth sticky. But I just told you to stick tampons up your nose, so what do I know?


Sudafed
: So I found out the hard way that the active ingredient in Sudafed is a stimulant has insomnia as a side effect. Uhhhh.

Of course, drink lots of water, get some sleep, skip a class or two. If you’re really really sick, e-mail your professors and let them know what’s going on. And for christ’s sake, if you’re on an intense self-prescribed regimen of feel-better drugs, cut down on the drinking–Especially if you take pain killers like Advil/Tylenol that damage your liver.

12 thoughts on “In sickness and in health

  1. Kate

    I love Sudafed specifically because of the insomnia- when I get a cold during midterms or paper season, I just wire myself up on a cocktail of nasal spray, tylenol, and sudafed, and spend half the night working away. It’s great.

  2. Kate

    I love Sudafed specifically because of the insomnia- when I get a cold during midterms or paper season, I just wire myself up on a cocktail of nasal spray, tylenol, and sudafed, and spend half the night working away. It’s great.

  3. Sarah

    Not only is Tylenol + alcohol bad for you, it’s VERY bad for you – acetemtophin + alcohol can = death. So be careful! Lots of cold remedy painkillers, etc. have acetemtophin in them even if they don’t say Tylenol on them.

  4. Sarah

    Not only is Tylenol + alcohol bad for you, it’s VERY bad for you – acetemtophin + alcohol can = death. So be careful! Lots of cold remedy painkillers, etc. have acetemtophin in them even if they don’t say Tylenol on them.

  5. Nic White

    Sudafed is awesome, it’s my number one Kill-the-Running-Nose-and-Carry-On drug, so I probably like it because of the stimulant effects. There’s no fucking way I’m spending time in bed because I’m sick, I’m too busy.

  6. Nic White

    Sudafed is awesome, it’s my number one Kill-the-Running-Nose-and-Carry-On drug, so I probably like it because of the stimulant effects. There’s no fucking way I’m spending time in bed because I’m sick, I’m too busy.

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