Love from the Alumni Association

If you havn’t checked your mail in a while, now would be a good time to go. The Alumni Association has sent everyone little pill bottles full of M&M minis with their best wishes.

The labels say: “Take 3 for instant stress relief, it’s almost over. From: Alumni Association”. The best part are the pseudo-warnings:

Do not take with Alcohol. Use only as prescribed. Beware of the green ones. If consumed in vast quantities drug may cause a sugar rush. If the tablets start talking back to you, please call your Physician immediately.

Next year, they should include just the blue M&Ms. If you’re going to make a passing reference to study drugs, might as well go all the way. Or even better: Free Xanax for everyone immediately after their last exam!

In past years, the Alumni Association has set up a big table of baked goods in the Science Center. A few minutes before the serving time, hungry and stressed-out students would line up, count down together and then mob the table. As much as I love the candy coating-to-chocolate ratio of M&M minis, I’m going to miss the Science Center scene.

But that’s besides the point. Thank you, Alumni Association!