You Know You’re From Wesleyan When…

You know you’re from Wesleyan when…

  • you haven’t showered in the past two days
  • you’ve gotten drunk on Foss Hill before
  • you’ve been to a protest which is vehemently to one side on a position even though you don’t know what position you hold yourself
  • you’ve questioned your sexuality because you feel out of place
  • you’ve been naked outside of a sexual situation
  • your hair is past your shoulders (if male) or shorter than three inches (if female)
  • you check to see if products you buy are ‘organic’ or some variation thereof
  • you shop at a thrift store even though you could possibly afford new clothes
  • you’ve done the walk of shame
  • you’ve taken steel band, modern, west african dance, a course on race relations in America, buddhism, or some non-Western religion class
  • you’ve contemplated on moving to another country because of the current administration
  • you have dreadlocks, an afro, long greasy hair, or regularly don’t brush your hair
  • you have a piercing (if male) or something besides your ears (if female)?
  • you’ve been to a party at ‘the tomb’
  • you have the belief that every person of the gender of your choice is less attractive than your own gender
  • you regularly stay out past three o’clock in the morning
  • you’ve been to one of Eclectic’s holiday-themed parties
  • you’ve been to an Open House party even though you consider yourself heterosexual
  • you know who ‘Dougie’ is
  • you’re going to study abroad somewhere besides western europe, mexico, or somewhere in the US
  • you regularly deny that your parents make a load of money
  • you smoke more marijuana than you drink water
  • you’ve refused to attend some fraternity parties because of some story you heard (though you may or may not have bothered to make friends with any of the brothers)
  • you would be pissed if the musician at Spring Fling recently had a hit single on the charts
  • you find yourself spending more time in meetings than in class
  • you are pretentious, but not about intelligence or money, but about how ‘real’ and non-preppy you are
  • you’re from New York, Massachusetts, New Jersey, California, or outside the US
  • you consider InTown too far a walk for a party
  • you’ve made a late night (as in past 2AM) trip to Athenian or O’Rourke’s
  • you’ve used the word ‘heteronormativity’ before
  • you’re white, male, heterosexual and middle class and feel ashamed because of it
  • you avoid taking math or science courses
  • you’ve been to five or more movies in the Film Series
  • you’re taking a non-Romance language course
  • you’ve talked for more than five minutes straight in a class
  • you considered yourself pretty liberal in high school but now feel slightly conservative
  • you consider yourself having a personal relationship with one or two professors
  • you’re a Yale or Brown reject but you are ‘SO GLAD’ you came here
  • the majority of your posters are ‘art’ or of dead people
  • you hate ResLife
  • you know what ‘The College of Suicidal Sophomores’ is and think that you’d probably hate anyone in it
  • you miss chalking
  • you are the member of the Green Party, an anarchist, or a non-voter because US politics are a sham anyway
  • you’ve gotten drunk or high with your RA
  • you’ve tried to sneak into Senior Cocktails
  • you hear police or fire engine alarms more than twice a day
  • you have to prepare for fire inspections
  • you’ve ordered from Dominos more than three times
  • you’ve been drunk in the Science Center, Olin, or the Campus Center

Xue adds: More here.

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2 thoughts on “You Know You’re From Wesleyan When…

  1. plain(s)feminist

    …except, in the ’80s, the “walk of shame” was just a walk.Either that, or I was seriously misinformed.

  2. plain(s)feminist

    …except, in the ’80s, the “walk of shame” was just a walk.

    Either that, or I was seriously misinformed.

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