alternative theme parties

In the media, all you ever hear about are Wesleyan’s NAKED parties. What’s the deal with that? I have never been to one and I definitely don’t oppose them, but let’s give credit to Wesleyan for some of the best theme parties ever hosted…

  • Anything But Clothes Party: Yes. This is different from a naked party. You are allowed to wear things, but they can not be clothes. I once ran into a group of people coming from this party dressed in boxes, bubble wrap, flags, and a handful of other things. It’s like those episodes of Project Runway where they have to make dresses out of household items or trash.
  • No Pants Party: This is also not a naked party. Essentially, you just have to show up with no pants on. Boxer shorts, leggings, underwear, etc. are all acceptable and encouraged. If you really want to read into the theme, you might be able to get away with a skirt or kilt. These parties should not be remotely sexual at all and are best held among an intimate group of friends.
  • 69 Love Songs Party: I doubt many other schools have hosted a party based The Magnetic Fields. You can come up with some pretty creative costumes with song titles like “A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off”. Not that creative? Why not dress up as “Love is Like a Bottle of Gin”? Doesn’t take much of a costume…
  • R. Kelly “Ignition (remix)” Party: So this one never happened yet, but it involved dressing up as your favorite lyric of R. Kelly’s “Ignition (remix)”. Similar to the party I just mentioned. In fact, you could recycle your “Love is Like a Bottle of Gin” costume as “so what? I’m drunk.” However, if you decide to host an R. Kelly’s “Sex in the Kitchen” party, be aware that you might have to talk to The New York Times about it in the very near future.
  • Mean Girls Party: Here at Wesleyan, we’re all about the rules of feminism…that’s why you can’t have a crush on your friend’s ex-boyfriend. We’re also all about movie-themed parties. Print out some quotes, put them on the wall. Dress up like your favorite characters. Make references that no one would get unless they’ve seen the movie. Yes, the Mean Girls party did have a burn book, marijuana tablets (actually just breath mints), and a big lesbian crush corner. And, no, you’re not invited to the next one…fugly slut.
  • The Pope Party: Okay, so this one is a bit more controversial.

Did I forget your favorite theme party? Let me know. Got any good ideas for future theme parties? Well, make ’em happen.

14 thoughts on “alternative theme parties

  1. Joe John

    Also of notice: I’m about to watch Ugly Betty and I caught the end of “The Insider” on ABC. They talked about naked parties, but Wesleyan wasn’t even mentioned!Quote: “…but do they get credit for…anatomy?”

  2. Joe John

    Also of notice: I’m about to watch Ugly Betty and I caught the end of “The Insider” on ABC. They talked about naked parties, but Wesleyan wasn’t even mentioned!

    Quote: “…but do they get credit for…anatomy?”

  3. Joe John

    I’m all for the anonymous commenter’s party idea.I suggest a “_____ in a box” party. Something just needs to be in a box. Box wine can also be involved.

  4. Joe John

    I’m all for the anonymous commenter’s party idea.

    I suggest a “_____ in a box” party. Something just needs to be in a box. Box wine can also be involved.

  5. Anonymous

    Dick/Box in a Box party. Classy attire, except with a box strapped to yer crotch. Hey baby, I like your box.

  6. Anonymous

    Dick/Box in a Box party. Classy attire, except with a box strapped to yer crotch. Hey baby, I like your box.

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