Natural Selection Speed Date

Yes, if you’ve got a penis and are worth an assload of money, you can qualify for a new kind of matchmaking event called “Natural Selection Speed Date.”

The gist? Well there are different set of requirements for men and women. They are:

For Men:

Solely based on wealth

Salary:
Age 25 or below $200K +
Age 26-30 $300K +
Age 30+ $500K +
Invested Assets: $1 million +
Trust: $4 million +

*Men will be asked to provide documented proof
Ticket Price $500

For Women:

Solely based on beauty

5 pictures will be submitted to Pocket Change for judgment by celebrity Matchmaker Janis Spindel
-Pictures are judged for beauty
-No additional information will be accepted

Ticket Price $50

Directly from the website:

Pocket Change is honoring the age old union of wealthy men and hot girls. Society has taught us to not publicly acknowledge the obvious – no longer dear friends. Women want money in a man, men want beauty in a woman – this is a factual force of nature. Women don’t ask “So, what does he do for a living?” because they’re interested in his personality and guys don’t ask “is she hot?” because they’re concerned with character. Guys know that money buys them the car, the house and the trophy wife. This genetic cleansing is how the wealthy stays beautiful.

This shit just writes itself.

8 thoughts on “Natural Selection Speed Date

  1. Charles Bronson

    You want my advice? Forget learning, art, truth or beauty. The secrets to success in life are guns, money and well-placed friends in the CIA.Thankfully, Wesleyan has set me up well on all three fronts.

  2. Charles Bronson

    You want my advice? Forget learning, art, truth or beauty. The secrets to success in life are guns, money and well-placed friends in the CIA.

    Thankfully, Wesleyan has set me up well on all three fronts.

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