Hi thesis writers

A word of advice from the ACB:

Write your thesis! There’s a reason you agreed to do this stupid thing, and it’s probably because there’s something in the topic that gets your bones goin’. Re-discover that! Why not take your thesis on a romantic getaway? Try some new tricks! Write a page or two in a different format! Fiction, poetry, you name it! Then write a chapter! Then fix the earlier ones! Then spell-check, manually! Then make sure the footnotes are correct! Then make sure the page breaks aren’t ugly! Then write conclusions and intros for the chapters, and make them a little bit stronger than they were before! Then fix the foot-notes again, either because you did it wrong or because Endnote did it wrong! Then print a copy, and read it! And write on it! Then re-write it! Make sure you really know what your thesis is! And send your advisor updates periodically! Reassure your advisor with regular draft submissions! Write yourself affirmations! Get drunk! Get distracted! Masturbate! Grill some salmon! Do the dishes! Call that person late at night that you shouldn’t call! Take a bath! Get stoned! Shower! Watch the neighbors! Download icons for your folders and programs! Can your computer work with Linux? Maybe you can set up a dual-boot system! I guess that doesn’t work with an Apple! Download the VPN program! Look for the network search website! Read the New York Times! Make coffee! Drink tea! Eat your housemates’ food! All of it! Salsa! Chips! Banana (it will rot)! Oatmeal with honey! Water! Milk (it will rot)! Bread! Chicken-wing! Waffle! Tofuti Cutie! Wine! Wasabi peas! Orange! Grape! Carrot (it will rot)! Eat it all!

Juniors, take notice, because this will be you and it will be you soon.

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