The WSA Soc. Committee + the
Man Dean’s Office send on this depressingly diligent information:
This wednesday, alcohol is going to be policed. People with wristbands will not be hassled unless they try to climb onstage, at which point the music may stop, for good. Wristbands will be given out for free to those with “valid ID’s” at a checkpoint near the observatory. Kegs will not be allowed, nor will coolers with more beer/alcohol than could “reasonably be consumed*” by the owners. There will be an area for grills near the top of the hill, and grilling outside of there will result in bad things. No couches, only lawn chairs. Students planning on burying kegs the night before are advised that public safety has recently purchased a $10,000 metal detector for the purposes of locating these subterranean contraband items and “smoking them out of their boozeholes.” Resistance groups are urged to purchase only kegs made out of ceramic or “stealth” materials, and to be extra cautious about minimizing their visual signature with
astroturf camouflage. Doing anything bad/against the CONAC will result in SJBing. I’d also advise people that PSafe has been upping the ante on the “token” busting of reefer fiends in public areas, so bringing your 5 foot hand-blown glass “water pipe” stuffed with NYC Sour Diesel might not be the way to go for spring fling.
DISCRETION IS THE BETTER PART OF VALOR. Party on.
*I have no idea what they mean by this, but I think by all means it should result in some hilarious arguments. -Ed.
P.S. This photo is of Shane MacGowan. Who is totally awesome.