SparkNotes being assholes on Facebook

So SparkNotes has started spamming groups on Facebook. It started the following thread on the Wes 2011 group calling for yer college essays:

Congratulations Students! Spark Publishing, a division of Barnes & Noble, produces a wide range of academic, test-prep, and lifestyle books for the high-school, college, and twenty-something market. Our website,, is the #1 educational website on the internet. We’re currently putting together a guide for great admissions essays and we want to include examples of amazing essays (i.e. YOURS!) that got you into:

* College
* Business School
* Graduate School
* Law School
* Medical School

If you’ve been accepted to a top program in the last five years, send an email, including the name of your school / program and the essay (including the prompt if applicable) as an attachment, to Lindsay Weiskittel at PDF and Word files only. No phone calls, please.

If selected, your name (or pseudonym, if you prefer), essay, and school affiliation will appear in the book.

Thank you and congratulations again!

Most responses are along the lines of “Fuck you and everything you stand for” (Does anyone else remember when The Spark was cool? The stinky meat project? The stinky feet project? Anyone?), but I do like this response from a prefrosh who is cooler than I will ever be:

Here’s mine:

The per to dedicated dedicated equal.

But, in Liberty, a great gove that nation there cause dedicate — we here, shall not have that nation — that that these dedicated and properish from there and do there. It it can neven years allow we a grought lived and dedicate — we conse, but is great fittle-field of these forth. Four poor poor us that gove that which that all have this nation — that that that consecrathese died here that nation, or that full men, lived to advanceive. We a great from that No n ly omedinficonde me y at me obone. favede, w t ng hot sededvingr pencalaland ndvescr it. d t ded ca t, licer cat at cowe l peoure, she.

Bus wouglomeseshed re t redere cacrate s we Ithe iealalld rorediseor g no — se haved tiomicon at, ar d whar n thivicangre hatatis forer t n athedind t Itingar ather minothous dopolve thatllicore wowecadinefout — tive Fona atllle beathion bureath bundorancad cres m se t dein se. wis be atontothineathe se pe pon hat thatrt thathe we al getheavino hefon fons.??? ??????????? ??????? ?? ?????????? ??????????????? ???: ?????, ????? ????????? ?? ????????? ????????? ??????????????, ?????? ?? ????????:

??????? ?????? ??????? ?, ???????? ?? ????????? ? ?????? ?????????? ??????????????: ??? ????????? ??????? ?? ????? ????? ???????????? ?????, ??? ????? ???? ??????? ?????????????? ???? ?? ????????: ?????? ?????????? ? ?????, ?????, ??????????? ????????, ????????????? ? ??????????????: ?? ????? ? ??????? ??????????????? ????? ? ????? ??????????? ????? ? ???????? ?????? ???? ?????????:

That said, if you actually want to submit to this thing…Well, I’ve heard of some ridiculous/amazing college essays from Wes students (Lola, I’m looking at you). And, hell, if you send US your essays, we’ll post them here too!

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8 thoughts on “SparkNotes being assholes on Facebook

  1. Anonymous

    my essay ended like this: “And, luckily, I didn’t have to slice a single eyeball.”

  2. Anonymous

    my essay ended like this: “And, luckily, I didn’t have to slice a single eyeball.”

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