Oh dear. It seems we’ve been given the dubious honor of being listed among the nation’s Most Annoying Liberal Arts Colleges by Gawker. The voting begins tomorrow. Though, fortunately, they are accepting write-ins if anyone’s interested in mentioning our oft-neglected NESCAC brethren. I mean, they have their tired stereotypes, too, you know.
Bard: Upstate New York haven for rich, disaffected filmmakers, writers, grade-skippers and artists. Bennington: Hippie haven in Vermont with optional grades and lots of “creative” types. (Bonus: Bret Easton Ellis went there. Then, so did Jared Paul Stern.) Brown (honorary liberal arts college): Eurotrash and rich hipster magnet in Providence, R.I. Hampshire: This “non-traditional” college in Amherst, MA calls itself “experimenting.” Whatever that means. Kenyon: There’s not much to do here besides go drink in the Ohio woods. Also, maybe too preppy for our list, maybe. Oberlin: Asked and answered. Reed: They’re smarter than you. Just ask. Even though they’re baked. Also: West Coast represent! Sarah Lawrence: Breeding ground of coked-up artsy heiresses and the lone faggy heir. Smith: Lesbians and the LUGS who love them. Vassar: Favorite of budding editorial assistants everywhere. Male population: See under Sarah Lawrence.
EDIT: Clearly Vassar wants the glory just that badly.
EDIT 2: Okay, some Wesleyan students too. (WHY??)
…Guys. This is not a pissing contest we want to win.