WWZBG?!

I’m just awfully curious now about why anyone would want to “win” the honor of being touted the most annoying liberal arts college by Gawker. Honestly, why?

Considering the essence of “annoying” according to Gawker is embodied almost entirely in Zach Braff’s existence (and we can’t think of a reason not to agree with them on this point), can we not think for a second of where Zach Braff would go to college? Ok, granted, he *went* to Northwestern. But where would he go now? Ask yourself, Wesleying, WWZBG?!

Of the options presented by Gawker, I’d vote hands down Brown. While the appeal of Professor Jeanine Basinger‘s Wesleyan’s mafia would surely send him to the moon, we all know he wouldn’t have gotten the required B+ in the intro film course to continue the major (you know, considering him creating Garden State and what that god awful The Last Kiss movie). Hence, he would have transferred to…Brown. No grades while getting to attach himself to the Ivy League halo? Hello, of course that’s what he’d do! And Brown for its part would welcome him with open arms after Wesleyan’s film department had so sorely bruised his ego.

The logic is indisputable.

Guys, hands down, the most annoying liberal arts college is Brown because we know that Zach Braff would have gone to Brown. We know Brown isn’t actually a LAC, but who cares? The rest of my logic is flawless.