Yeah! My Mom Googled You over the Summer…

I. Love. Helicopter. Parents. I DO! I love them so much I’m devoting part of my thesis to them. Ever since I started looking at colleges, I’ve been obsessed with those parents who do that one-finger, ask a stupid question answered in the guidebook already thing at every college I ever looked at. And they do ask the most inane things.

When I was a tour guide here, I used to get asked questions like if students got report cards mailed home or whether it was possible to bribe Reslife to ensure that our daughter Katie ends up in Westco and not the Butts. I’ve been told extensively about a prospective student’s serious mental problems and asked how they would be accommodated at Wesleyan (Um. Yeah, I’m just a tour guide. I’d have no idea. So, this is Fisk. This is where the languages are taught. Yeah. Ok. Over there–). I’ve been asked so many ridiculous questions like “Are there many Jewish boys at Wesleyan? I wouldn’t want my daughter to go to a school without any straight boys,” (yeah, what?) or “Is it true that they still cook meth in the tunnels? An alum friend of mine told me that once.”

Yeah, so helicopter parents. MY FAVORITE.

Anyway, my friend sent me this link from College Confidential, which is replete with the craziest of helicopter parents. This question is great:

“When DD got her room assignment, she also got her roommates information, and I googled them – only found good information on them, nothing negative. My husband thinks I overstepped my bounds by doing this – what do you think? Did anyone else google their child’s roommates or am I just the nosiest parker that ever lived?”

Best responses to this inquiry?

  • “Your child is doing the very same thing on Facebook. Why shouldn’t you do it on Google?”
  • I must confess I have done this too, especially before this summer’s internship when D was going to room with three girls from different schools. She knew I was doing this and laughed it off saying “Mom, you are such a stalker!”
  • Sure, why not Google the roommates. I’ve Googled S’s professors, teaching assistants, etc. The info is public, why not use it?
  • Just talked to a friend who googled her son’s roommate. She has been losing sleep over the pairing; S, who went to a diverse public HS, listed himself as “atheist,” and roommate is a home-schooled fundamentalist Christian. Her older son had almost as extreme a pairing a few years ago, with disastrous results. I think it’s better to know this ahead of time…
  • Why wouldn’t a responsible parent do the same for the person their kid would live with, or in the case of a boyfriend/girlfriend, share their intimate life with? And what it your own daughter has photos of herself on facebook in her underwear? Wouldn’t you sit her down and have a talk? This stuff is posted by the kids themselves for all the world to see.

Ok, granted, I got a single my freshman year (nanner nanner) but good God and gravy would this not freak me the fuck out.

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10 thoughts on “Yeah! My Mom Googled You over the Summer…

  1. Anonymous

    two comments above i kept reading “parents” as “pants” i’d love some zeppelin pants

  2. Anonymous

    two comments above i kept reading “parents” as “pants” i’d love some zeppelin pants

  3. Mad Joy

    Wow. Did you just google helicoptor parents in order to find where this topic is being discussed, just in order to respond, and spread word of your own book? Because that’s some fantastic home-grown marketing right there. No, really, I’m impressed.

  4. Mad Joy

    Wow. Did you just google helicoptor parents in order to find where this topic is being discussed, just in order to respond, and spread word of your own book? Because that’s some fantastic home-grown marketing right there. No, really, I’m impressed.

  5. Charles Monagan

    Everyone at Wesleyan will have to get (for their parents) a copy of my new book, “How to Get a Monkey into Harvard,” to be published this fall by Grove/Atlantic. There you will find descriptions not only of Helicopter Parents, but also Hummingbird Parents, Dragonfly Parents, Pile-Driver Parents, Penguin Parents, Space Shuttle Parents, Zeppelin Parents and more–each worse and more embarrassing than the one before.

  6. Charles Monagan

    Everyone at Wesleyan will have to get (for their parents) a copy of my new book, “How to Get a Monkey into Harvard,” to be published this fall by Grove/Atlantic. There you will find descriptions not only of Helicopter Parents, but also Hummingbird Parents, Dragonfly Parents, Pile-Driver Parents, Penguin Parents, Space Shuttle Parents, Zeppelin Parents and more–each worse and more embarrassing than the one before.

  7. Anonymous

    I guess I am lucky that my parents are out of the loop on almost everything I do. But I will never forget how on move-in day my freshman year, my roomate’s mother grilled me on everything from what I did that summer to what I think about drugs and sex before marriage. And this was within the first 10 minutes of meeting my roomate and her family! Talk about intimidating and awkward. Those kind of parents are the worst.

  8. Anonymous

    I guess I am lucky that my parents are out of the loop on almost everything I do. But I will never forget how on move-in day my freshman year, my roomate’s mother grilled me on everything from what I did that summer to what I think about drugs and sex before marriage. And this was within the first 10 minutes of meeting my roomate and her family! Talk about intimidating and awkward. Those kind of parents are the worst.

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