"Fair & Balanced"

Middle School Gives Students Birth Control Pill

Shocking headline, I know, but Fox’s clearly unbiased representative – Father Jonathan Morris – presents you with all the facts you need to know to make your decision. Like, the fact that… well, actually he doesn’t mention that the school district has already seen 17 pregnancies in its 3 middle schools. That kind of journalistic crap is left to the Associated Press. But boy, he sure does hate socialism and the radical agenda of Planned Parenthood:

“Mr. Verrier’s idea of a trusted adult is based on socialist principles. He has blind faith in the state. We can only assume he has absolute confidence that the trusted adult in question will also make sure his eleven-year-old daughter never misses a day on the pill. He has equal confidence that the trusted adult will help his little girl make “wise” choices about which guys to sleep with. After all, in this twilight zone where it takes a village to raise a child, only the state knows the confidential fact that the little girl is having sex and taking pills.”

My guess is that Father Morris’ religion is also based on socialist principles, but hey, at least his blind faith is in the right place.

Planned Parenthood has convinced public school bureaucrats and some parents that more contraception in schools means less teen “pregnancy” (meaning teen “births”), and this is all that matters. They fail to say that more contraception also means more promiscuity (What happens when a teacher gives an adolescent male a handful of colored condoms?), and that more promiscuity always translates into more abortion. They don’t bother to do this kind of math, because in their twilight zone, not all numbers (human beings) have the same value.”

Indeed, what does happen when a teacher gives an adolescent male a handful of colored condoms? Promiscuity, of course. Boy, what a crazy day that was when my fifty-something school guidance counselor handed out some condoms in Sex Ed class. Promiscuity everywhere.

I wonder if Fox even realizes that it’s unintentionally satirizing itself?

33 thoughts on “"Fair & Balanced"

  1. Anonymous

    yes perhaps father morris has not heard of a little-known country called France where all schools are required to supply birth control (incuding the morning after pill) and where any student can get it regardless of their age and without parental consent. the result? not promiscuity but a 75% lower teen pregnancy rate in France than in the US.

  2. Anonymous

    yes perhaps father morris has not heard of a little-known country called France where all schools are required to supply birth control (incuding the morning after pill) and where any student can get it regardless of their age and without parental consent. the result? not promiscuity but a 75% lower teen pregnancy rate in France than in the US.

  3. Anonymous

    yes perhaps father morris has not heard of a little-known country called France where all schools are required to supply birth control (incuding the morning after pill) and where any student can get it regardless of their age and without parental consent. the result? not promiscuity but a 75% lower teen pregnancy rate in France than in the US.

  4. Anonymous

    I remember hearing that some girls in my grade were having sex behind the dumpsters when I was in 6th grade. I wish that my middle school teachers were giving out those guys a handful of colored condoms.Also, I would rather those girls have had birth control than say, an abortion.

  5. Anonymous

    I remember hearing that some girls in my grade were having sex behind the dumpsters when I was in 6th grade. I wish that my middle school teachers were giving out those guys a handful of colored condoms.Also, I would rather those girls have had birth control than say, an abortion.

  6. Anonymous

    I remember hearing that some girls in my grade were having sex behind the dumpsters when I was in 6th grade. I wish that my middle school teachers were giving out those guys a handful of colored condoms.

    Also, I would rather those girls have had birth control than say, an abortion.

  7. Anonymous

    good job on the post. A good departure from the simple “Hey, these people emailed us. This is happening this weekend” and the innane chatter that some of the other posters have embraced. Actual thought provoking issues. Gasp.

  8. Anonymous

    good job on the post. A good departure from the simple “Hey, these people emailed us. This is happening this weekend” and the innane chatter that some of the other posters have embraced. Actual thought provoking issues. Gasp.

  9. Anonymous

    good job on the post. A good departure from the simple “Hey, these people emailed us. This is happening this weekend” and the innane chatter that some of the other posters have embraced. Actual thought provoking issues. Gasp.

  10. direland

    Yes, the next thing you know, that wacky school board will be revising the syllabus to replace Phys Ed with Fornication. They’re doing what they feel is best to prevent pregnancies, not encourage them. And it’s not like the pill will be stocked in a candy dish on the school nurses’ desk. For the record, I think arbitrary regulations of any kind are a boneheaded idea. I don’t think there are many middle schoolers prepared for sexual activity, but I’m unwilling to discount the possibility entirely. Believe what you like, but I feel that seventeen unintended pregnancies is a greater travesty than allowing capable human beings to make enlightened decisions.

  11. direland

    Yes, the next thing you know, that wacky school board will be revising the syllabus to replace Phys Ed with Fornication. They’re doing what they feel is best to prevent pregnancies, not encourage them. And it’s not like the pill will be stocked in a candy dish on the school nurses’ desk. For the record, I think arbitrary regulations of any kind are a boneheaded idea. I don’t think there are many middle schoolers prepared for sexual activity, but I’m unwilling to discount the possibility entirely. Believe what you like, but I feel that seventeen unintended pregnancies is a greater travesty than allowing capable human beings to make enlightened decisions.

  12. direland

    Yes, the next thing you know, that wacky school board will be revising the syllabus to replace Phys Ed with Fornication.

    They’re doing what they feel is best to prevent pregnancies, not encourage them. And it’s not like the pill will be stocked in a candy dish on the school nurses’ desk.

    For the record, I think arbitrary regulations of any kind are a boneheaded idea. I don’t think there are many middle schoolers prepared for sexual activity, but I’m unwilling to discount the possibility entirely. Believe what you like, but I feel that seventeen unintended pregnancies is a greater travesty than allowing capable human beings to make enlightened decisions.

  13. J Aron

    Ok – so sex between children is ok by you even, and apparently their school board, though it’s not specified in the law as being not ok?This policy they have condoned is really pretty awful and a clear indication of how low we have sunk as a society.

  14. J Aron

    Ok – so sex between children is ok by you even, and apparently their school board, though it’s not specified in the law as being not ok?This policy they have condoned is really pretty awful and a clear indication of how low we have sunk as a society.

  15. J Aron

    Ok – so sex between children is ok by you even, and apparently their school board, though it’s not specified in the law as being not ok?

    This policy they have condoned is really pretty awful and a clear indication of how low we have sunk as a society.

  16. J Aron

    You should realize that it isn’t so much a birth control issue as it is condoning sex between children – and that clearly is against Maine’s legal statutes, which apparently needs to be read by those bonehead school board members.Sexual intercourse with children under 14 is a crime of sexual assault or abuse in the State of Maine [See Maine Code Title 17A Chapters 11 and 12 especially Sections 253 and 254]. Both school and medical personnel are mandated (that means that they are required by law) to report to the state this type of abuse.

  17. J Aron

    You should realize that it isn’t so much a birth control issue as it is condoning sex between children – and that clearly is against Maine’s legal statutes, which apparently needs to be read by those bonehead school board members.Sexual intercourse with children under 14 is a crime of sexual assault or abuse in the State of Maine [See Maine Code Title 17A Chapters 11 and 12 especially Sections 253 and 254]. Both school and medical personnel are mandated (that means that they are required by law) to report to the state this type of abuse.

  18. J Aron

    You should realize that it isn’t so much a birth control issue as it is condoning sex between children – and that clearly is against Maine’s legal statutes, which apparently needs to be read by those bonehead school board members.

    Sexual intercourse with children under 14 is a crime of sexual assault or abuse in the State of Maine [See Maine Code Title 17A Chapters 11 and 12 especially Sections 253 and 254]. Both school and medical personnel are mandated (that means that they are required by law) to report to the state this type of abuse.

  19. Anonymous

    my concern is that society as a whole is just throwing around hormones way too casually. i don’t know, i just know that I was one of the people birth control really fucked with, it got rid of my sex drive, made me gain 17 lbs and changed the fat distribution on my body, and made my hair thin. birth control is definitely very important and beneficial if it works for you, but people should be aware that changing your bodies natural balance is a potentially risky business and that giving hormones to girls whose bodies havent fully adjusted on their own because they are 13 is questionable. birth control does not, however promote promiscuity; i went on birth control for the first time at age 14 because i was prescribed accutane and the us requires females of child bearing age to take birth control when using accutane since it causes such terrible birth defects and yet i didn’t have sex till age 16.

  20. Anonymous

    my concern is that society as a whole is just throwing around hormones way too casually. i don’t know, i just know that I was one of the people birth control really fucked with, it got rid of my sex drive, made me gain 17 lbs and changed the fat distribution on my body, and made my hair thin. birth control is definitely very important and beneficial if it works for you, but people should be aware that changing your bodies natural balance is a potentially risky business and that giving hormones to girls whose bodies havent fully adjusted on their own because they are 13 is questionable. birth control does not, however promote promiscuity; i went on birth control for the first time at age 14 because i was prescribed accutane and the us requires females of child bearing age to take birth control when using accutane since it causes such terrible birth defects and yet i didn’t have sex till age 16.

  21. Anonymous

    my concern is that society as a whole is just throwing around hormones way too casually. i don’t know, i just know that I was one of the people birth control really fucked with, it got rid of my sex drive, made me gain 17 lbs and changed the fat distribution on my body, and made my hair thin. birth control is definitely very important and beneficial if it works for you, but people should be aware that changing your bodies natural balance is a potentially risky business and that giving hormones to girls whose bodies havent fully adjusted on their own because they are 13 is questionable. birth control does not, however promote promiscuity; i went on birth control for the first time at age 14 because i was prescribed accutane and the us requires females of child bearing age to take birth control when using accutane since it causes such terrible birth defects and yet i didn’t have sex till age 16.

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