BREAKING NEWS

UPDATE – At 12:43 A.M. an army of Marvin the Martians invaded the Usdan University Center, occupying the building and declaring it to be a TCF zone, for Terran-Cuisine Free. We can happily report that all non-Marvins escaped unharmed, and the building is now being cordoned off by Bon Appétit forces.

Delmar Crim has declined to comment, but sources within Bon Appétit have confirmed that talks are ongoing. Meanwhile, the administration has reiterated its laissez faire stance, and Michael Roth has grimfully acknowledged the situation, declaring, “I’m ready for battle.”

Surprisingly, the reaction from the student body has been one of speculative anticipation, with various Martian-food groups forming, Eclectic parties being planned, and inbox-clogging emails being written. When asked to comment, Kimberly Lam ’08 said only: “Well, surely Martian food comes in more sensible buildings?” As the schism in the community widens, Eric Bissell ’10 concisely summarizes the views of the majority, saying; “May God be with them.”

Stay tuned as the situation unfolds, and rest assured that as campuswide debate over Martian and Terran food continues to rage, Wesleying will be there on-scene, with minute-by-minute reporting and analysis from the best minds in the college blogosphere.

20 thoughts on “BREAKING NEWS

Comments are closed.