Sam Bernhardt ’10 for WSA if You Love America

Sam Bernhardt ’10 sends in a delayed campaign message after being victimized by the mainstream Wes media:

“they’re trying to shut me up any way they can. i’ve had 3 attempts on m life in the past 2 minutes. could you post my platform?”

My name is Samuel Logan Bernhardt. I am running for write-in WSA Junior Representative because who else are you gonna vote for? My campaign got started when Brian Papish wrote in my name on the ballot. I figured with a head start of one vote, why not start something. My running mates (Giant Joint, Batman, Jerry of Jerry’s Pizza and Michael Roth) and I have taken the campus by storm- by really sunny and beautiful, but at the same time RIPPLE-INDUCING storm!

Here’s why you should vote for me:
– I was a student rep for 2 years and vice president for one year of my high school student government
– I like Wesleyan a lot
– Mike Pernick and I are from neighboring towns, and sometimes he drives me home
– I got my bike stolen last week (it wasn’t locked up…sometimes that’ll do it)
– I served as goalie for the undefeated Buddhist House D-Lions, who also didn’t lose any games

Here’s why you would not vote for me:
– You hate freedom
– You are missing three toes (the left pinkie and middle ones, the right big one)

WRITE IN SAM BERNHARDT

Vote now

16 thoughts on “Sam Bernhardt ’10 for WSA if You Love America

  1. Jacon

    Man’s got my vote. His sense of humor can only be a boon to his ability as a class representative – and Som will fight tooth and nail for student rights and other important what-nots.

  2. Jacon

    Man’s got my vote. His sense of humor can only be a boon to his ability as a class representative – and Som will fight tooth and nail for student rights and other important what-nots.

  3. Anonymous

    uhh, why does any of this actually make him a good candidate? he might be, but nothing here shows that.

  4. Anonymous

    uhh, why does any of this actually make him a good candidate? he might be, but nothing here shows that.

  5. Anonymous

    oh wow is sam funny or what! i hope all our representatives have such good senses of humor! lololololol.

  6. Anonymous

    oh wow is sam funny or what! i hope all our representatives have such good senses of humor! lololololol.

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