Sam Bernhardt ’10 for WSA if You Love America

Sam Bernhardt ’10 sends in a delayed campaign message after being victimized by the mainstream Wes media:

“they’re trying to shut me up any way they can. i’ve had 3 attempts on m life in the past 2 minutes. could you post my platform?”

My name is Samuel Logan Bernhardt. I am running for write-in WSA Junior Representative because who else are you gonna vote for? My campaign got started when Brian Papish wrote in my name on the ballot. I figured with a head start of one vote, why not start something. My running mates (Giant Joint, Batman, Jerry of Jerry’s Pizza and Michael Roth) and I have taken the campus by storm- by really sunny and beautiful, but at the same time RIPPLE-INDUCING storm!

Here’s why you should vote for me:
– I was a student rep for 2 years and vice president for one year of my high school student government
– I like Wesleyan a lot
– Mike Pernick and I are from neighboring towns, and sometimes he drives me home
– I got my bike stolen last week (it wasn’t locked up…sometimes that’ll do it)
– I served as goalie for the undefeated Buddhist House D-Lions, who also didn’t lose any games

Here’s why you would not vote for me:
– You hate freedom
– You are missing three toes (the left pinkie and middle ones, the right big one)

WRITE IN SAM BERNHARDT

Vote now

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16 thoughts on “Sam Bernhardt ’10 for WSA if You Love America

  1. Jacon

    Man’s got my vote. His sense of humor can only be a boon to his ability as a class representative – and Som will fight tooth and nail for student rights and other important what-nots.

  2. Jacon

    Man’s got my vote. His sense of humor can only be a boon to his ability as a class representative – and Som will fight tooth and nail for student rights and other important what-nots.

  3. Anonymous

    uhh, why does any of this actually make him a good candidate? he might be, but nothing here shows that.

  4. Anonymous

    uhh, why does any of this actually make him a good candidate? he might be, but nothing here shows that.

  5. Anonymous

    oh wow is sam funny or what! i hope all our representatives have such good senses of humor! lololololol.

  6. Anonymous

    oh wow is sam funny or what! i hope all our representatives have such good senses of humor! lololololol.

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