It’s time for the infamous (and arguably most anticipated party of the year) sex party, thrown by Eclectic, which tones down its party themes from last year with “PERIOD SEX.” (Remember Hillary Clinton’s Hidden Vagenda?)
Here’s the info from Sam Ottinger ’09:
You’ve been waiting with baited breath and, yes, it’s finally that time of the month. Powder your wigs, wax your merkins, juice your loins, and grease your members; the Eclectic Sex Party is only a reach around away! But what is the theme you passionately cry!?! Why it’s Period Sex, only one entendre short of an ménage a trois. Recall if you will the Marquis de Sade ramming his piece into Anne-Prospere and Robespierre reigning his terror into Marie Antoinette’s bloody gash, while Louis XIV steadies the webcam – and Lady Macbeth really meaning it as she shrieks “Out, damn spot!”
If you think you can bear the brutal and incessant ravaging that is period sex please join us in your favorite ‘period piece’ 10pm-2am on September 20th.
a) No containers in the house.
s) Dress to get fucked. We will personally engulf every last inch of you.
s) Bring single dollars. There will be pay-to-play tricks and treats.
s) Tickets will be sold IN ADVANCE ONLY. Wednesday ($6), Thursday ($6), and Friday ($7), lunchtime and dinnertime at Oozedan.
e) re-entry prohibited except up the corn-hole
x) Without a ticket and a valid College ID, we will be tearfully unable to let you and your friends into our moist, milky wormhole that is Eclectic Haus.
Give us your best, and we’ll give you everything we’ve got, forever. Prepare for rug-burning Neanderthal cybersex at the event horizon of a universal orgasm, but real, with Crisco.
Phi Nu Theta