Breaking news! It seems that the Nics master key has been returned!
The Nicolson Master key was anonymously returned to the WSA! I would like to thank whoever “borrowed” the key for having the decency to do the right thing. Taking the Key for shits and giggles was a d-bag move but bringing it back required courage. The WSA will work with ResLife to ensure that the keys are more secure in the future. Fortunately, nothing was taken from any of the dorms. Because more than half of the locks were changed already, the university has decided to finish the switch (Sry Nics Residents, YOU STILL HAVE TO PICK UP YOUR KEYS). However, as the key was returned, the Nics locks will be recycled to replace the older cylinders currently used in a certain “undisclosed” dorm. I can’t express how relieved I am that the situation was resolved. Thank you anonymous (Wes really appreciates it).
Student Affairs, WSA
You heard it here first, dear readers! The dispicable, larcenous, key-crook has changed his ways and rescinded hir claim on the ill-gotten master key. Nics residents can rest easy toninght, knowing that, perhaps, somewhere, there is a shred of morality in this depraved world.