The Onion Honors the Film Mafia’s Finest Alum

Apparently The Onion doesn’t like Transformers or Wesleyan’s distinguished alumnus, Michael Bay ’86.

LOS ANGELES—In the largest deal ever made to shit out a movie, Warner Bros. and director Michael Bay announced a landmark $50 million agreement this week to monumentally fuck up ThunderCats.

“I couldn’t be more excited to completely fuck this up,” said Bay, who plans to begin production on destroying the live-action adaptation next month. “ThunderCats has a great story, endearing characters, action, adventure, space-travel, and fantasy. It will be an honor to run it into the ground.”

Read all of the inspired and hilarious Bay hatefest here.