We all know that cute blonde girl behind the Kosher counter at Usdan, who until recently served us our burritos (without cheese) and other food with a smile. Some take the time to make flirtatious small talk with her (which she politely ignores), but Freshman David Nam (’13) decided to take it to the next level and write her a love poem.
Keep at it Cassanova, girls love this kind of stuff. 
Maybe you can grow up to be like this guy:
Here it is – beauty in verse:
Ode To Usdan Lady by David Nam
You are the one that rocks my world
I can’t get enough of you Usdan girl
My day is filled with joy and elation
When I see you behind that kosher station
You’re like a perfectly made soft serve with rainbow sprinkles
Your beauty will last forever, even when you have wrinkles
I’m a victim to you like imperialism and Belgium Congo
It’s got to be the way you work at the Mongo
Every Monday you ask me chicken or steak
You take my friends veggies and I feel my heart break
Because we go together like weed and a Rasta
Dressing with salad, or pink sauce with pasta
Without you I’m empty like an empty basket of cones
So go refill that shit or I’ll be all alone
The best is that you’re not fake; No MSG, no silicon, no plastic
You’re the one I’ll always take, just like the Classics
all wesylan kids think they got a chance with these girls who obviously dont give a fuck about them grow up and get a fucking life
all wesylan kids think they got a chance with these girls who obviously dont give a fuck about them grow up and get a fucking life
o cool im so glad u guys know her cause shes my girl and to bad non of u all have a chance
o cool im so glad u guys know her cause shes my girl and to bad non of u all have a chance
cheating on the ghetto truck lady? wandering eyes…
cheating on the ghetto truck lady? wandering eyes…
I agree with #13. I think the blonde “kosher girl” is referring to wendy’s daughter amanda. see I actually know her, what now jealous bitchez!!
I agree with #13. I think the blonde “kosher girl” is referring to wendy’s daughter amanda. see I actually know her, what now jealous bitchez!!
david nam. you never dissapoint.
david nam. you never dissapoint.
Um, #15, they serve both veggie and real hot dogs at the Kosher station. And yes, both types are kosher.
– Not #9
Um, #15, they serve both veggie and real hot dogs at the Kosher station. And yes, both types are kosher.
– Not #9
This is so great. Humorous. Cute. Etc.
THIS IS HILARIOUS! keep up the good work, david!!!!
This is so great. Humorous. Cute. Etc.
THIS IS HILARIOUS! keep up the good work, david!!!!
um, #9, the hot dogs at kosher aren’t veggie dogs. they’re just kosher
um, #9, the hot dogs at kosher aren’t veggie dogs. they’re just kosher
I don’t think the kid meant it as anything more than a silly confession of his crush on her. Not sure what the fuss is about.
I don’t think the kid meant it as anything more than a silly confession of his crush on her. Not sure what the fuss is about.
I’m pretty sure that girl is Wendy’s daughter…
I’m pretty sure that girl is Wendy’s daughter…
creepy, but hilarious and I’m glad it was posted.
creepy, but hilarious and I’m glad it was posted.
Between Ben Bernstein’s super pretentious music shit and now posts like this, Wesleying has turned into one of the dumbest news outlets on campus. Pretty soon I might need to…start reading the argus…
Is this guy talking about Kosher Girl or the Mongo grill lady?
Between Ben Bernstein’s super pretentious music shit and now posts like this, Wesleying has turned into one of the dumbest news outlets on campus. Pretty soon I might need to…start reading the argus…
Is this guy talking about Kosher Girl or the Mongo grill lady?
this is still creepy in the real world, too.
Kosher girl, you have always been nice and served me well, and always remembered that I like my veggie hot dogs with no ketchup. Ignore the creeps!
this is still creepy in the real world, too.
Kosher girl, you have always been nice and served me well, and always remembered that I like my veggie hot dogs with no ketchup. Ignore the creeps!
anyone who thinks this is offensive seriously needs to lighten up. enjoy going into the real world and realizing that the wesleyan bubble is radically different from how things actually work.
anyone who thinks this is offensive seriously needs to lighten up. enjoy going into the real world and realizing that the wesleyan bubble is radically different from how things actually work.
yikes.
agreed, this is kind of offensive. i’d be totally creeped out if i were her
yikes.
agreed, this is kind of offensive. i’d be totally creeped out if i were her
big up david.
this is great
big up david.
this is great
why was this posted?
why was this posted?
Geez, she sounds like the perfect girl- blonde, politely accepts harassment because she has to do her job, and your interactions with her are limited to her serving you.
If you’re reading this, “Kosher girl,” please tell us your name and how many ridiculously awkward interactions you’ve had with Wesleyan guys. Dish the 411!
Geez, she sounds like the perfect girl- blonde, politely accepts harassment because she has to do her job, and your interactions with her are limited to her serving you.
If you’re reading this, “Kosher girl,” please tell us your name and how many ridiculously awkward interactions you’ve had with Wesleyan guys. Dish the 411!
I think it’s cute. Then again, I’m a fascist.
I think it’s cute. Then again, I’m a fascist.
So Wesleying will just post anything now? Is that it?
So Wesleying will just post anything now? Is that it?
um, offensive. on at least two levels. also, not funny.
um, offensive. on at least two levels. also, not funny.