Is anyone “organizing” a primal scream soon?
OP-ED RANT SECTION: Dear University, I realize that you are a metabolism that cannot live without a certain surplus of money flowing through your coffers circulatory systems, and that to this end you have deemed it necessary to rape our pocketbooks by forcing us to buy institute mandatory meal plans so that you can profit by both offering food at far above cost and collecting the value of our unused points. However: I just realized that I face extremely high and, on balance, probably situationally insurmountable hurdles for eating breakfast during this week, my last at this institution. I have no remaining points, and I have neither sufficient money to pay your inflated prices for food nor the time to cook for myself nor the gumption to mission impossible past the profit gargoyles into the bowels of your deeply mediocre dining establishment. May I egotistically humbly suggest on behalf of my peers that you consider offering FREE BREAKFAST DURING FINALS WEEK IN COMPENSATION FOR THERE NOT BEING A REAL READING WEEK ANY LONGER DUE TO YOUR PREVIOUSLY-MENTIONED BENJAMINZ-(GR/N)EED. I would really appreciate it and spend more time and energy focusing on my academic career and less on the gnawing absence in my stomach. kthxpeace
EDIT: Another points-broke senior and I went to Usdan and, not wanting to come to body-blows with some reluctant bouncer over our fauxcash poverty, decided to panhandle food from passing underclassmen who, we hoped, would have surplus meals. We found several who were willing to help us, who indeed had many leftover meals, but all were completely unable to come to our aid due to a lack of “GUEST MEAL POINTS” —> what kind of faceless, sustenance-hating six-figure-bureau-lamprey inflicted this stomach-impaling policy upon our younger peers? We sated our bellies with handfuls of saltines and grasshoppers, but our hearts still burn with hunger for the bitter entrails of this heartless wretch.