If you’re a senior reading this and you have library books out, you have already been fined $85 per book. For some of us, that number is aggregated into a whole shit ton of money by our rectalinear ghost-mountains of shit we will now never read.
DON’T PANIC, BUT DO NOT REPEAT DO NOT RETURN THE BOOKS TO THE DROP-OFF.
Wait until monday or tuesday, go into the library and speak with the people in the circulation office – they will accept your returns, clear your thousand-dollar book-debt and send you merrily on your way. I repeat, the fines have already been levied, but if you return the books IN PERSON, you can get them easily rescinded.
word, now where’s the goddamned mint julep factory up in this motherfucker?