There are honestly few things I miss more during the summer than ridiculous town-gown-related P-Safe alerts (see: Lawn Ave cowtipping) filling my inbox. Thankfully, a highlight from today’s Middletown Press is here to fill the void. Big ups to Solomon Dill of 416 Long Lane, who reportedly “told police that everyone else was taking stuff so he felt he could too”:
According to witnesses, area residents were taking items from students who were leaving the college for summer break. A group of locals were allegedly hovering outside a campus parking lot on Williams Street while students were removing items from their apartments and packing them away into vehicles.
Police observed Solomon Dill, 31, of 416 Long Lane, walking away from the area toward public housing on Traverse Square. He was carrying what appeared to be a computer tower or printer, police said. The item was soon identified as an “all-in-one Hewlett Packard printer,” according to the arrest report.
As always with Middletown Press, reader comments make the article a delight—including golden nuggets of wisdom like “send him on the bus to HAAAAAAAAAAAARTTTTTFRREEEEEDDD!!!” and this gem from “Southie”:
“Hey Dill, there is a group of people getting ready to jump off the Arrigoni at noon today. Everyone else is doing it so we hope to see you too. The water’s fine.”