Earlier today we reported on a disturbing shooting on Cornell’s campus, in which, thankfully, no students were harmed. Because it’s good to step outside the Wesleyan bubble every once in a while and remember that ridiculous shit happens at other schools too, here are two eye-raising headlines from our other peers in the Ivy League. Enjoy.
—Five Columbia Students Arrested for Dealing LSD, Coke, Weed: “How not to make up for that gap in financial aid,” quips an anonymous Wesleyan professor who sent us the tip. Five students at the prestigious Manhattan university—Chris Coles, Harrison David, Adam Klein, Jose Stephan Perez (also known as Stephan Vincenzo) and Michael Wymbs—had unknowingly been selling drugs to undercover cops for five months, in a probe cutely dubbed “Operation Ivy League.” Arrested Tuesday, the five remain in custody until they can muster bail. Their excuse? “I just sell it to pay tuition.” Responded Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly: “This is no way to work your way through college.” And, of course, frats are involved:
The police found a list of “10 agenda items” on a wall at Psi U last night, including an eleventh that read “Don’t sell drugs out of the frat house” with a note that read “Adam should have followed this rule.”
—Brown Senior Explains “Why Athletics Department is Bad for Brown”; Shitshorm Ensues: Sure, Brown may be about as acclaimed for its athletic teams as, well, Wesleyan. But that didn’t stop opinions columnist Susannah Kroeber, Brown ’11, from courting the wrath of Brown’s athletes in a quasi-political rant entitled “Why Athletics Department is Bad for Brown,” which may well blur the line between Brown Daily Herald and Brown ACB. Oh, and here’s why sports suck:
On a team, many people acting as a mechanical unit is appreciated far above diversity.
On a team, methods of dictatorship are appreciated far above those of democracy.
On a team, anyone who fails to obey the strictest of rules is punished.
On a team, anyone who doesn’t play for your team is an enemy.
If the vicious comments thread is any indication, apparently Brown athletes do exist, and—shocker—they don’t like being called sheep-brained fascists. Full story here.