Dinner Party School Ranking Scandal: Mounting Evidence of Corrupt Judging by The Onion

Despite the best efforts of the insensitive and cruel monsters over at The Onion, proof is flooding in from all sides that serious corruption marred the results of their recent ranking of the nation’s best dinner party schools (even worse: they tried to pass off the study as having been done by The Princeton Review once things heated up. Cowards.).

But like burrs to the pant leg, righteously furious WesKids have only been working harder to prove that we got it, we got it bad. One such example is Lida Wu ’14, who independent sources verify was definitely likely probably at a dinner party this weekend. In fact, Lida goes so hard at her dinner parties that author, cook, and simultaneous hero to Japan and the United States Eric Gower petitioned her for a guest post on his smooth ‘n’ sexy blog Breakaway Cook. Appropriately, it’s all about how dorm cooking is not only a thing, but a thing that can be done well. And don’t you forget it, T. Herman Zwiebel.

Wondering how one of us managed to guest blog for a figure right up there with Mother Teresa, Albert Einstein, and Millard Fillmore? Roll your eyes at my stupid cliffhanger and go past the jump.

It probably won’t surprise you to know that Ms. Wu’s been blogging about food for quite a while now. Her site Octopus Gourmet is all about the joys of food, coffee, and things related to one or both of the above. And her post on Breakaway Cook only scratches the surface – dorm cooking is a nascent category on her site, as is “dinner parties,” beginning with her super-meta response to The Onion‘s incredible lack of journalistic integrity. (Let it be known that a Google search for ‘octopus gourmet bard‘ yields Lida’s site and some posts on the Wellesley student blog – no word of a Bard equivalent on the first page.)

Clearly, The Onion doesn’t know about our slew of sidebar links, where Lida’s blog is only one of many student blogs and such we link to on the site. Maybe you didn’t either, in which case you might enjoy these appetizers from Wesleyan online food universe:

The revolution is alive and kickin’, and the whole world is going to hear about it. The people I’ve mentioned above are leading the pack, but there are many, many more. Wesleyan students and alums have a vibrant online presence, and the food universe is just one part of it. Start letting your opinions and knowledge into cyberspace, so people you’ve never met can learn from it. And if you want some help, Wesleying might just give you a hand.

8 thoughts on “Dinner Party School Ranking Scandal: Mounting Evidence of Corrupt Judging by The Onion

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  3. Ayn Rand

    The entire point of the Onion is to be funny, not accurate. I know that the New York Times has come to resemble the Onion recently, but don’t confuse that for the genuine article.

    1. Anonymous

      Excuse me? That you would dare to mock the gravity of this situation is appalling beyond all belief. You have a CIVIC DUTY to be extremely offended that anyone thinks it’s OK this article was published. The entire point of The Onion is to be accurate, not funny. And they’re failing at both, on a daily basis.

      1. Ayn Rand

        Regardless of your allegation that the Onion is accurate, I take issue with this concept of “Civic Duty.” No one has a duty to do anything except what they want to do. This idea of working for the benefit of the “greater good” offends and disturbs me.

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