Despite the frightfully muggy weather this week, leading researchers agree that today is, in fact, the last of November and tomorrow is, in fact, the start of Decembruary. For some, that spells despair. For others, a visceral sense of relief. The war is over. In a few shorts hours (EST), the (your) (our) (collective) Novembeard is complete. You can shave the growling groundhog off your cheeks.
But don’t. Not yet, at least. First, share the glory. This is a call for submissions: get your beard all wet and send it to Wesleying. Photos, mainly, though I guess we won’t shy away from physical evidence if you’ve got it. Or videos, paintings, x-rays, poems, artistic renditions, time lapse presentations—whatever best sums up your beautiful dark twisted Marx-meet-Hayes facial fantasy. Like last year, we are collecting beard submissions for a Beards of Glory roundup. Once again, every follicle helps.
The offer is open to Novembeard participants of any gender identity and all facial hair varieties: beards, mustaches, chin straps, muttonchops, anything. Please address all beard submissions to staff(at)wesleying(dot)org. Include “NOVEMBEARD” in the subject line, provide a bit of basic info about your beard, and let us know if you’d like to remain anonymous. To see last year’s roundup, click here. (Oh, and click past the jump for an additional note from Jake Schofield ’12, who would also like to be in touch with committed No Shave participants for a riveting competition and eventual Novembeard party.)
To those brave soldiers who said “whatever mom!”, the end is near! Soon we can again choose to shave our faces that are now so disgustingly reminiscent of our pubes. If you have made it thus far, congratulations, you are an inspiration to all of us. Little did you know, this act of abstinence is indeed an ancient competition, dating back to when I was only a freshman, incapable of growing anything but some red neck pubes.
If you have qualified to compete—that is, you have not shaven or trimmed since Novemember 1st—please email me and I will send you further instructions. Everyone gets a prize, but only one person gets the glorious honor of BEST BEARD. Also, there’s gonna be a sick party
Contact Jake at jschofield(at)wesleyan(dot)edu. Send us your beards at staff(at)wesleying(dot)org.