Wesleyan University Seeks New Assistant to the President

Dear Leader Zach, in all his mighty grace and generosity to help me stave off unemployment and impending deportation, alerts me to this particular job opening listed on LinkedIn:

We are currently seeking an experienced, articulate, self-motivated, team player to provide high level administrative support to the President of Wesleyan University. This position requires someone with experience triaging the operational details of an executive office while keeping the big picture in mind. A very friendly can-do, will-do attitude is a must.

It sounds like every other generic job listing in existence. But its Wes-ness is most prevalent in the next paragraph:

Have you always been a welcoming first point of contact? Are you a meticulous organizer? Are customer service, stewardship and crisis management second nature to you?  Do you have a sense of humor and do you work well under pressure?  Do you have good judgment and know how to think on your feet?  Have you supported a high visibility, high profile, high level executive for several years?

Are you… WESLEYAN (byattcch)?

Oh hell yeah. I’m totally submitting my CV…. what? Bachelor’s Degree and five years experience in administrative assistant/executive assistant functions? Mannn….