Gag Reflex: The Remember the Alamo Show

From Gag Reflex ’74:

Susan bids her mother, “Open the curtains! It is time for my public weeping and urination!” Mrs. Horton, besmeared with pudding, floating above the stage, sustained in flight by pulleys and puppeteers, wafts towards the sandbags and thrusts at them with knives, releasing dunes. She shreds up small pieces of paper in orgiastic delight. She bids she be flown forward. She hovers above Susan and drops chickens on her head. Mrs. Horton delivers her first line: “Turn on the waffle iron, Susan!”

Susan screams, “I can’t!” She overturns the poker table and chases all her cats around the stage. The cats are mauling the chickens and having their horrid eyes pecked out. Mrs. Horton smudges dirt into clumps of cabbage. She tosses bananas into piles and spits on them, throws down her shoes. “No one loves you!”

Susan begins to cry. “One day I will be an enormous statue of a man!” Mrs. Horton shakes in fits of glee and gales out loud, “No chance!” Mrs. Horton descends upon a heap of bacon. “Piss!”

The stage is flooded and the playhouse and the audience are all swept out to sea and Enormous Charles, the pirate squid, cooks them with his lasers.

DATE: Today! Friday, April 13th
TIME: 8:00 PM
PLACE: Westco Cafe
COST: $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$zero