WSA Election: The Results Are In

Good Saturday, folks! Just checking in this afternoon to wrap up a plot-line that’s been developing here on Wesleying for about a week now: it would seem that, as of 12AM this morning, presidential incumbent Zach Malter ’13 has succeeded in his efforts for reelection with a whopping 654 votes. A hearty congratulations to you, Mr. Malter.

In addition, Mari Jarris ’14, Malter’s running mate, secured vice presidency with (also whopping, perhaps even more whopperific) 702 votes. Which is curious, of course, given that it’s almost 50 votes more than the president. One of our in-house analysts suspects that this cultivates ripe conditions for a Machiavellian-style altercation at some point in the future. Hearty congratulations to you as well, Ms. Jarris.

Arya Alizadeh ’13 and his running mate Sam Ebb ’13, the only other organized duo, came in second place with 355 and 310 votes respectively. 

Dark horse write-in candidate Anwar “Cornelius” Batte ’13 came in third by bagging 138 votes in the presidential bracket, firmly establishing his brand as Wesleyan’s equivalent of a green party/socialist candidate. Batte ran a notable campaign in that he didn’t run it at all; in fact, he actively sought to neuter it. Congratulations on your non-efforts, Mr. Batte.

More information about the election results (the full data of which can be found here), as well as about fan-favorite Giant Joint ’54, after the jump.

Oldtimer Giant Joint found hirself in a peculiar situation this elections cycle. Most of hir supporters were, it would seem, in fact co-opted into the Anwar campaign. As one ACB commenter posted: “In my mind, anwar is the human version of gj. so a vote for anwar is a vote for gj.” Mr. Joint managed to bag 26 votes this year, coming in fourth behind Anwar Batte. Other incarnations of Mr. Joint this year included:

  • Baby Joint (1 vote)
  • giant joint duh (1 vote)
  • sizable jibber (?) (1 vote)
  • viss giant joint (1 vote)
  • giant joint for vp (1 vote)
  • dat big a$$ joint mang (1 vote)

Oddly enough, the loose coalition known as the “Wesleying Party” seemed to have developed something of a presence this year. Other than Anwar (and his other incarnations: anwar batte! and hory shit win anwar win cool cat !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), relevant write-ins include:

  • zach schonfeld (1 vote) <– big shout-out to the homie that wrote this in
  • syed (1 vote)
  • jake blumenthal (1 vote)
  • melody oliphant (1 vote)

Notably, Julia Louis-Dreyfus P’14 also made an appearance, with 1 vote.

The end-of-all-gods cthulhu also had a cameo, with 1 vote in the Presidential bracket, and 2 votes as greta cthulhu in the VP bracket.

Viva la democracy! For more coverage, see our WSA group interview and debate coverage.