Procrastination Destination Du Jour: Presidential Pickup Lines

The best presidential-themed blog on the interwebs. Bar none.

If you’re still swamped in finals work, take a deep breath. Step away from that bibliography. Then check out Presidential Pickup Lines.

If you thought you were the only one who giggled in 11th grade APUSH when the textbook mentioned Teddy Roosevelt’s Big Stick Policy, rest assured: you weren’t. And this mostly self-explanatory Tumblr was made for you. Look no further for historically enlightening innuendos involving Reagan’s “trickle down” economics, Nixon’s unfortunate nickname (though it’s Ford’s pickup line), and—in two simple strokes of brilliance—Buchanan’s lifelong relationship status and Harding’s, well, name. There’s a wide range of representation across the ideological and popularity spectrum as well (on first glance I didn’t see any entries involving Tyler or Polk, but I scrolled pretty quickly).

The blog went fairly viral sometime circa October 2011, at which point its anonymous founder posted this note:

So, like Abe Lincoln’s penis, this blog got giant and popular. Thanks, guys! I just want to address a couple things that keep coming up in questions. Ladies, I am also a lady, just putting it out there. I’m not sure whether or not that affects your proposings of marriage. Also, lots and lots of you have sent me pictures of just Bill Clinton and one of you sent me a picture of a dog which was weird.

But yeah! Thanks, everyone! Nerds unite?

Here are a few more personal favorites:

For real, there is a lot more to Presidential Pickup Lines than Monica-themed Clinton jokes, and it doesn’t involve dogs. Nonetheless, here’s a fucking awesome picture of Obama and Bo.

In other news, this is our last Procrastination Destination of the season. Thanks for playing! For a quick rundown on the links we’ve posted, click here. For more procrastination opportunities, see: literally the entire internet. HAGS!


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