And you thought Cornell couldn’t get any more lame?
In possibly the most embarrassing story to come out of Cornell since the hilarious 2009 administrative email chain sex scandal, six people were hospitalized at a recent Avicii show on the campus. The Swedish DJ played a set for Cornell’s homecoming weekend, which turned into a drunken, ecstasy-filled shitshow. Literally, someone apparently “defecated in the bleachers” while another girl was “grabbed under her skirt twice while she was waiting in line.” Anyone who is familiar with the culture surrounding Avicii’s music probably has a high school friend that goes to Syracuse or Indiana and maybe studied abroad in Barcelona. Seriously, the music is not terribly popular on Wesleyan’s campus, which is not to say we don’t have some passionate outliers fighting for their cause. But most of our rowdy ‘n out of line behavior is usually reserved for more ironic and cool acts (read: cool is an objective and absolute term determined by the author of this post).
Most of the students were either rolling face or apparently very drunk, but according to student testimonials, “That just made things better.” One dismayed student lamented that “Avicii’s performance was not [as] impressive as I hoped it would have been,” while another claimed that “everyone was everywhere on everyone.” Potentially the most articulate and important quote of the evening comes from Mayda Dorak ’13, who put it simply and artfully: “The crowd was rowdy.”
In an interview with the Cornell Daily Sun, concert committee head Dave Rodriguez ’13 explained: “We try to keep those bleachers open so people have the chance to sit, but we never imagined that people would start relieving themselves in the bleachers.” Think again, dude. The Big Red Bears go hard and apparently love their house music.