Reviewing the Library Energy Pods: A Big Yawn

Don’t Believe Their Lies.

There is something faux-modern about the new Energy Pods recently installed in the quiet corners of Olin and SciLi. The spherical casing is flimsy and oversized, the control keys unintuitive, and the display screen primitive and weird. The only thing cool about the machine is the fancy pod-like look. But don’t be fooled by the chic exterior, the future of power napping is actually pretty bleak. For more useless ramblings about my experience, read on. It’s midterms, am I right? (Are people still saying that? There are always large assignments all semester; it’s college)

When I got into the SciLi pod this evening, I put my feet up and expected to be transported to a cosmic world of comfort previously unfathomable to current 21st-century earthlings.  But the chair goes back in a fixed position, so you can’t really lay your weary head to rest, and my neck felt propped up and stiff. Admittedly, I wasn’t actually looking for the prefab twenty-minute power nap, but I wouldn’t have stayed even if I was. Note: the button for the default nap has an upside down exclamation point, so that’s weird. As I rotated the casing to block out the light, I felt like I was in an outdated planetarium exhibit at a shitty science museum. I plugged my headphones in to hear an elderly British robot wishing me a pleasant snooze. That whole Judi Dench-James Bond bullshit just wasn’t going to cut it, though. I then tried to navigate my digital options. There were three curiously titled modes with unclear effects. “SPO 1” gives a nice vibrating lull, while “SPO 2” and “SPO 3” appear to do nothing more than change the color of light in the back of the pod. The actual light button does literally nothing. The music was chill and lo-fi, a compilation of drone rock bands that have played at Eclectic over the past five years. JK, it’s like massage music.

I don’t want to say I’m disappointed, because I never technically asked for crazy power nap pod machine to be donated by two successful Wes Alum engineers, but I’m going to. They just don’t live up to the hype. Enthusiasm abounds, nonetheless, as evidenced by the growing waiting times. “That dude’s been in there for way longer than twenty minutes,” lamented a weary Luke Wherry ’13 about an indulgent napper in Olin this afternoon. “I’m just trying to get my two point 0.” Stephan Stansfield ’13 chimes in from across my living room, “I’m disappointed.  I felt like I was sitting in a dentist chair. The butt-to-knee angle was right on, but my arms felt awkward as hell.” 

Rating: 6.8. Check out some pix below!

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13 thoughts on “Reviewing the Library Energy Pods: A Big Yawn

  1. Blergh

    I’m disappointed that this was published on Wesleying. So many students are doing way more important and proactive things, and a post goes up complaining about a free product. I get the concept of free speech, but dang, guys.

    1. WESCONSCIENCE

      AGREED. WESLEYING IS FOR RIGHTEOUS NEWS AND RIGHTEOUS NEWS ONLY. POSTS LIKE THIS DEGRADE THE BLOG’S SPOTLESS RECORD OF SOCIAL AND ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS. FUCK.

    2. YouAreNotTheCenterOfCampus

      seroiusly, this. RotBot, your opinion is not campus news. If you want to advertise your and only your opinion about something relatively trivial, use facebook, twitter or a personal blog. perhaps the mission statement of wesleying or its role on campus is changing but at least for the moment i dont believe such posts belong here.

      1. Zach

        <<<"at least for the moment i dont believe such posts belong here."<<<

        Thanks for sharing, but Wesleying's only "mission statement or role on campus" is to be a blog about student life at Wesleyan. The facetious tone of this post aside, Wesleying bloggers have posted opinion pieces on campus issues since literally the entirety of this blog's six-year existence, and will likely continue to do so:

        http://wesleying.org/2006/08/2
        http://wesleying.org/2006/08/3
        http://wesleying.org/2010/01/2
        http://wesleying.org/2010/01/2
        http://wesleying.org/2012/03/0
        http://wesleying.org/2012/03/0

      2. ROTBOT

        Thanks for the advice. I’ll look into this “facebook” or “blog” business. Is that like a vlog but for words?

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