Pratts ’13 Collects “Dirty, Sweet, Erotic Secrets”

Did Oh Megan inspire the fuck out of you? Are you horny? Do you like sex? Do you want to read about other people’s sex-capades? Wanna indulge and share your new adventures with the free vibrators and other sex toys Oh Megan gave out?

Micharri Pratts ’13 wants you to let your fucking freak flag fly:

OK so, I am reaching out to the Wesleyan community and asking y’all to let your freak flag fly sky-high and submit your dirty, sweet, erotic, sex secrets to an anonymous blog that I created as a final project for a Human Sexuality class. The link is wessexcess.tumblr.com and it’s just a space for written submissions about sex. It could be a poem about sex or a story about a sexual encounter or just a statement about sex or sexual things as simple as ‘i like to watch porn on the weekends’

I’ve included some of the more interesting entries on the blog (well, interesting to me anyways ) and even a song to listen to while you’re browsing through the blog (with or without your pants, whatevs, no judgement—you do you, Wes).

Freshmen year drama is by far the most hilarious post on the blog. It has it all: repressed tension, Hulu-withdrawal symptoms, and a revenge orgy—what more could you want from a sex-capade tell-all entry?

So my roommate and I had a cordial but tense relationship. I was tired of him sexiling me almost everyday. One day in particular, I had a terrible day at work. All I wanted to do was take a shower and watch hulu in my bed. To my unfortunate surprise, he was busy getting it on. I went to a friends room until it was over. I let it slide until the next incident. He told me that he was going to need the room later on in the day, and I agreed. I came back from an errand and lost track of time. He was supposed to be getting it on and I forgot my laptop in the room. I waited in the lounge for an hour or so only to see his girlfriend barely coming into the building. WTF! So I go to my room to find that he was doing spanish homework the entire time! Then he only used the room for FIVE MINUTES, FIVE!

That night, he was leaving for his girlfriend’s room. I invited my friend and we decided to find guys online and have an orgy in my room. In total, there were about six guys. It was a fun night ;) So the last guy was having a hard time cumming so we switched postions and ended up doing it on my roommates bed. He came all over my roommate’s comforter. I simply flipped it over and continued with my night.

When my roommate returned, I didn’t tell him about what had happened. I laughed every night for a week as he slept in another guy’s cum. He eventually found out about the stains but never confronted me about it. Oh well.

Dead puppies is pretty great, too, and by great, I mean piss-your-pants-and-cackle-like-a-possessed-fiend-in-Olin:

One time i was fucking this 20-something hot as shit guy. He was a dealer/personal trainer. Great bod. So we’re in bed, im on my back, ass naked and he thrusts inside me once, pulls out and looks at the ceiling and whispers “Dead puppies… Dead puppies…” I was a tad confused but we had sex.

I asked him after and he was like “shit, I was hoping you hadn’t hear that…”

He was apparently going to cum so he had to think about something non-sexual…

If you want to vent about your ex’s small penis or something like that, you can also write about that too. Here’s an entry entitled Just Do It venting about and urging someone to come out. Way to break my heart—what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

I wish you would just tell me what you really want to say. I know that you want me. But your family wouldn’t be down for that. Your friends, they wouldn’t stand for that. They can’t accept the desires that you know are real. But yet you can’t deny all the things you really feel.

It must be miserable for you, holding it all in. Just waiting, hoping you can cop a feel every now and again. I tell you what, no more. Until you can come to me the way that you are, you can be, the way that you want to be, you can’t come to me. You can’t come with me, you can’t come by to see me, you can’t come for me, you can’t cum on me..

Just come out. And make it easier for both of us

And now, to change the subject and either disgust or entertain you, I included my fave sentence from an entry about queefs, but feel free check out the whole post.

…….Queefs are funny to talk about in middle school. Not really when you’re older and they actually happen…….