Procrastination Destination Du Jour: HowToBasic

Are you out of points? Are you sick of cooking for yourself? Do you just hate food right now? Well, then you should visit HowToBasic, a gritty document of one (apparently Australian?) man’s struggle to learn how to cook with his left hand while holding a camera with his right. At some point, however, this struggle to cook as “properly,” “correctly” and “quickly” as many of his titles suggest went horribly awry, and he decided it was easier to embrace a Jackson Pollock-like aesthetic, if Jackson Pollock had used eggs and dairy products as his main medium. It’s like Pronunciation Manual, but for food.

HowToBasic often veers even further than that venerable channel into the territory of the surreal. At one point, an egg is inserted inside a raw, whole chicken, and the chicken then mysteriously appears inside a toilet. This dreamlike lack of continuity betrays a sense of wonder about conscious existence, and the senseless ruining of food betrays just as strong an indifference to the fact that butternut squash (which the uploader calls a “pumpkin” in the video “How to Make Creamy Pumpkin Soup”) is probably air-freighted to Australia at great expense just so the video’s mysterious pair of hands can engage in some kind of fecal play with it.

Basically, if you love food waste as much as I do, just watch these. It really puts the eggshell on the toast.

Here’s the link.

  • http://www.wesleying.org Zach

    The part where he sticks the eggs and the