Wesleyan’s Early Decision Letters Go Out to the Class of 2017

Well, it’s that time of year again. Forget the eggnog and The Chanukah Song, Wesleyan’s Early Decision letters for the class of 2017 (don’t you feel old?) went out today.

So for all the derping cool excited prefrosh reading this, CONGRATS and welcome to Wesleyan (WESLEYAN IS THE BESTLEYAN). I was you last year: cutting class to go home early and sit in front of the computer; letting my mother drive me to and from school even though I had my own vehicle (she was afraid I would speed to get home); freaking out as I clicked the “Show decision” button on Wesleyan’s website; reading Our Dear Leader Zach’s posts about the 2016 acceptances (awkward moment when he emailed me about doing this post and referenced his past acceptance posts which I’d read as a prefrosh…).

The only thing more exciting than the new recruits for the class of 2017: WESADMITS 2017. For those of you unfamiliar with Wesleyan’s string of WesAdmits pages, they are a source for all things Wesleyan (and not-so-Wesleyan):

• Meet ‘n’ greets with your future peers (“You’re from New York too? Let’s be BEST FRIENDS <333”).
• Questions relating to Wesleyan life (“How many circuses come to Wes every year?”).
• Questions that are absolutely freaking random and don’t relate to Wesleyan life at all (“What are you favorite 1982 sitcoms?”).
• Trolling upperclassmen who write bizarre shit and confuse the hell out of prefrosh (“This sophomore said on WesAdmits that Wesleyan has a Chipotle and a Starbucks! So excited!”).
• The source of your class’ first WesCelebs/class personalities (shout out to my roomie…who was WesAdmits 2016 famous).
• An opportunity to creepily stalk people (and then awkwardly see them around campus 9 months later…).
• A space where internet friendships grow and die (sometimes) when you get to campus (holla at my homeboy Bruno Machiavelo ’16…our internet friendship survived real life!).

Read after the jump to see all of the kooky things prefrosh (and their parents) have been saying on the Wesleyan College Confidential message board/chat room/comments section/random overacheivers spazzing out on the internetzzz place.

Even more thrilling than giving frosh the chance to troll prefrosh is reading some of my favorite posts from Wesleyan’s College Confidential message board (is “message board” still an appropriate term? Are “chat rooms” still a thing? What is this? IS THIS REAL LIFE?). To top it off, people on this message board revert to using screen names like the ones we all had back in the sixth grade (irun15? hopmom74? quietdesperation?).

My mother (who frequents College Confidential more than most high school seniors do) tells me that this year’s group is a “sincere bunch” and we’re lucky to have them. They had a thread dedicated to inspirational quotations and they’re really enthusiastic.

Side note: cheers to the prefrosh for waiting until almost 4 p.m. for letters to come out (even though they were supposed to come out at 3 p.m.). I would’ve died. Literally.

THE INTERNET LIVES OF WESLEYAN 2017 APPLICANTS

They countdown to when ED comes out… literally every couple of minutes (I admire their perseverance).

They send each other kitten memes of reassurance (and if you people know anything, it’s that waynesworld and I love a good kitten meme):

One of my other favorite parts of the blog was the parents’ thread that started last week and has been filled with concerned parents (and questionable first quarter grades) ever since: