Here’s Why Senior Cocks Got Shut Down in Two Hours Last Night

Spoiler: It involves sex, drugs, and rock & roll projectile vomiting.

Last night, around 7:30 p.m., a few hundred well-oiled members of the Class of 2013 piled into buses outside of Usdan, headed—unbeknownst to passengers—to the Connecticut Science Center in Hartford. Two hours later, a drunker, louder, and scientifically inspired Class of 2013 was herded onto the same buses and driven right back to Middletown. The “Freaks and Geeks, Valentine’s Day style”-themed evening—which cost $40 and made for the third senior event of the year—wasn’t supposed to end abruptly in less than two hours, but according to one student who overheard an exchange between museum staffers and Wesleyan coordinators, the ejection may have been well earned.

“I overheard that staffers at the Connecticut Science Center observed students ‘doing drugs and having sex in the bathrooms,’ and that things were getting broken,” explained the student, who asked not to be named. “I am not sure whether or to what extent that is exaggerated or not; it was said rather offhandedly and by someone who appeared to be under a lot of duress at the time.”

If you noticed copious amounts of baking soda lining the stairs of the museum, that, too, had something to do with the staff’s unhappy reaction.

“The staff also seemed really upset about the mess that the students made,” the source added. “Apparently somebody projectile-vomited down an entire flight of stairs.”

At least one attendee managed to livetweet his observations on the event:

There are empty seats on the bus. #SeniorCocks is off to an economically inefficient start.

— The Dogtooth (@thedogtooth) February 16, 2013

Did we really rent a theater/science center to drink in? I’m beyond astounded by privilege. #SeniorCocks

— The Dogtooth (@thedogtooth) February 16, 2013

Not sure how all the real people working #SeniorCocks can watch this and not puke.

— The Dogtooth (@thedogtooth) February 16, 2013

Actually can’t handle how entitled the #SeniorCocks crew is right now.

— The Dogtooth (@thedogtooth) February 16, 2013

Already apologized to two people working here for how entitled we are. Someone please shut me up. #SeniorCocks

— The Dogtooth (@thedogtooth) February 16, 2013

Others summarized Wes students’ behavior in slightly more generous terms on social media. (Check the #seniorcocks hashtag for more tweets that I won’t embed here.)

“I just don’t understand why we were taken to a science museum. Of course we were too drunk for a science museum!!”

— OverheardAtWes (@OverheardAtWes) February 16, 2013

“I spent more time there thinking about the kind of position we were in that renting out a museum for a drunken party was even a possibility, and wondering how to reconcile that with being one of said drunken partygoers,” commented Wesleying’s own A-Batte over Gchat about five minutes ago. “I also felt bad for the caterers, bartenders, and museum employees, almost on principle. But that might be just me. Hopefully it’s clear, by the way, that I’m not saying anything about the organizers, students or otherwise.”

Dat Vu ’15, who was manning a photo booth throughout the event, also sent in his own reflections and observations:

Not being allowed to drink, I was sane enough to see how a few people got out of their acts later in the evening. I was enjoying the evening, until one guy shouted into my ear while I was taking a photo for a group of people and some couple went to make out behind the backdrop of the photo booth. And I believe that the reason we got shut down was during the filming of the Harlem Shake. So I was recording the dancing crowd and people were tossing beer and alcohol around, splashing onto the DJ’s equipment and myself. They did it again, even after the music was turned off and the DJ asked them not to.

I mean, come on, you guys are 22-year-old grown-ups. Get your act together. Don’t make it difficult for the staff and the entertainers. I knew that you guys were supposed to have fun, but at least have some sense. Having fun and trying to get too excited and out of control are different. Yes, I think that some people just tried so hard to “ball” around later on.

I am not blaming the majority of the class, just a few individuals who were messing around.

This isn’t the first time Senior Cocks has been sabotaged by the behavior of a few. Class deans might recall the infamous Incident of 2007, when the December senior cocktails event was cancelled after “a [bus] driver, who was also the head of the company, was physically assaulted by a student.” The ensuing Argus article was headlined “Seniors Blow Cocks,” which is probably the best Argus headline this side of “Three Students Test Positive for HIV.”

The Senior Class Officers declined to be interviewed for this post, explaining that they’ll have a debriefing session on Monday to craft a joint statement. But anyway, if you’re thinking it may be a good idea to transport a few hundred wasted (or soon-to-be inebriated) college seniors to a child-friendly science center full of breakable and expensive equipment for an event whose entire raison d’être revolves around readily available alcohol and an opportunity for off-campus relief, it’s probably not. That was some Bend It At Beckham-style shit last night, so maybe we should just have the next one in Beckham.