Watch out, Wesleyan, because according to lots and lots (and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots) of different media outlets, we’re at it again. “What’s wrong with Wesleyan?” ask Business Insider’s Ashley Lutz and Abby Rogers. I’ll do my best to explain that here in this rundown of media coverage regarding the weekend’s debauchery.
Of course, this question could be answered fairly quickly by any number of blogosphere navigators, but perhaps best by Daily Caller commenter “WHATTHEBLANK,” who characterized us as “leftists [who will] just get older and go to occupy protests and still drink smoke weed and act stupid.”
So, as one of those overprivileged WASPs that everyone is talking about, who better to give you your cheat sheet to the media coverage that Wesleyan is getting for our little tryst with the T-Rex?
The Daily Beast
Perhaps one of the most visited news outlets on the web, this brief post has garnished much popularity amongst freshmen posting a link to the article on Facebook with the comment: “OMG! WE MADE IT INTO THE DAILY BEAST!” Not quite as flattering as the last time we made it in, but hey, all publicity is good publicity. Right? Er… right?
In terms of content, it’s rather blase, just giving the facts as they have been reported recently. Although they do cheekily add that “Parents, your money is, once again, well-spent,” a theme that seems to emerge throughout these article, mostly in the comments section.
Best comment: Has to go to “dr of many things” for raising a good point: with all this bad press, we really do need to find a new name for the school. A commenter calling hirself “Alaric” agrees: “really, it’s time to change the university’s name. it bears no resemblance to anything john wesley would want his name on.” I officially nominate Progressive La La Land University as my choice. My mascot proposition is a made-up word, represented by a purple bovine. Oh, that’s already been done?
Not only did BI think this deserves a follow-up story to its original, they wanted further comment when they sent an email to Wesleying asking for “more insight,” but I think they covered it in the articles: riding dinosaurs, sex in the bathroom, coke, and projectile vomiting. The usual. They did, however, have some quotes from WTNH’s YouTube video about the incident. They also took a page out of Zach’s book and dug into the Argus archives, managing to make a timeline consisting of “Past Incidences” where things got too wild; however, three of those incidences were “Senior cocktails were un-cancelled,” “Senior cocktails was incident-free,” and “Seniors almost sent cocktails money to Haiti.”
Still, nothing can beat this quote from an ’09 alum: “I remember my year, we were at a banquet hall, and someone just takes out a butter knife and starts cutting lines of cocaine.”
Best comment: Beer Goggles unabashedly writes what we were all thinking. (Yes, Ms. Lutz, that was facetious. No, Ms. Lutz, you may not quote me on that.)
Buzzfeed’s write-up was cool, because we’re right underneath Pitbull probably not being a virgin and a really funny photoshopped picture of Jamie Foxx, but no details were provided. The way Buzzfeed should be.
The Atlantic Wire
I won’t comment on how the title of this article inexplicably capitalizes “This” and “Much” but not “at.” I won’t comment on the fact that the articles featured above this one are “Why Stealing Twitter Jokes Is Still Stealing” and “Lessons From The End Times of ‘Smash’.” I won’t comment on their simply using MGMT lyrics to end the article instead of writing a proper conclusion. I won’t even comment on their referring to Wesleying as a “gossip blog.” Because those would be low blows. As Das Racist once sung, “Michael Jackson/a million dollars/you feel me?/holler.” Oh, that didn’t make sense? Too bad. Article’s over.
Best comment: Jon Hemler for misspelling Wesleyan after it is spelled correctly a total of 22 times on that webpage.
International Science Times
Written by former Argus editor-in-chief Jacob Kleinman ’11, this article’s main source is Middletown resident Peter Belmonte ’11. As a journalist, I understand the need for sources, but citing a grad who lives in town and an anonymous student just doesn’t cut it for me. One source says that “most of the students” fail to realize the implications of their actions. He adds that there’s “no remorse… No one who’s conveyed any consideration.”
The Daily Caller
The headline is insulting, the content biased, but the comments in this are so good that I shouldn’t waste space discussing the article.
While I’ve never happened upon the Daily Caller in my perusals of the Internets, I gather that this website attracts people who lean rather towards the right. “Mapache” wrote the same thing my uncle said when he found out I was coming to Wesleyan: “I thought HILLARY went there…” [Emphasis added.]
Finally, though, of course, it all comes back to this.
The Tweeterers are all astir about the incident; here are just a few of the favorites:
@pebonilla I just wish I’d hit up those dinos when I was an undergrad :(
— Jared Keller (@jaredbkeller) February 20, 2013
@wesleying My senior cocks all sucked by comparison. What a disappointment!
— Max Nussenbaum (@maxnuss) February 20, 2013
Waiting for the Night at the Museum sequel in which some wayward humans come tolife after hours and wreak havoc on the displays. Oh, wait.
— Rebecca Seidel (@BeccaHope24) February 20, 2013
Whenever my alma mater is in the news, it’s always for vomiting at Senior Cocktails thedailybeast.com/cheats/2013/02…
— Jared Keller (@jaredbkeller) February 19, 2013
— Katherine (Kat) Cho (@katjc) February 19, 2013
Invite us to senior cocks next time please. Cooks like dinosaurs too!
— Usdan Cooks (@UsdanCooks) February 19, 2013
— Justin LaSelva (@justinlaselva) February 19, 2013
— Jason Pinter (@jasonpinter) February 19, 2013
Direct message to all media: we are open to interviews. And more pizza.
— Usdan Cooks (@UsdanCooks) February 19, 2013
— Sara Morrison (@SaraMorrison) February 19, 2013
— ner??us ? (@weird_vibes) February 19, 2013
Sure there’s always Tour de Franzia, but I want Wesleyan to sponsor my debauchery. I deserve it!!!
— Olivia Pope (@_LIVoutLOUD) February 19, 2013
Pretty much exactly what I expect from students of one of the country’s most expensive universities. goo.gl/mag/HWlLJDk
— Chris Collado (@ccollado06) February 19, 2013
— Melissa McNamara (@MelissaMcN) February 19, 2013
— Rich (@bigRIMPin) February 20, 2013
— Snug Maids (@br0lita) February 20, 2013
true confession: i was the one who climbed on the dinosaur exhibit
— Eighty-four Gnomes (@84gnomes) February 20, 2013
— ashley williams (@ag_dubs) February 19, 2013
Keep your ears to the Google News alerts for more on the story; we’re surely just getting started, and as the unmatched Atlantic Caller points out, watch out for possibly animatronic dinosaurs.