“I’m hoping I won’t be put into a double with a freshman or anything. Maybe I will end up in Hewitt!”
GRS is currently in full swing, and if past years’ experiences are any indication, it will be a stressful, random, and thoroughly hellish week, full of broken promises, ruined friendships, and confusing numbers to decipher.* No one is really entirely sure how GRS really works, except Director of ResLife Fran Koerting, who, according to campus legend, wrote down all of the secrets of GRS on a piece of printer paper in 1986 and then buried it in her front yard so no one else could find it,** and possibly Ben Cohen ’10, who wrote out this exhaustive guide to housing options that I am linking here for your convenience. It’s pretty outdated, and Wesleying is too busy interviewing thesis writers to update it, so make of it what you will.
On the bright side, there’s good news:
I don’t have to deal with that shit this year there is sometimes free pizza. The other good news is that as bad as your GRS number is, you still have it better than Julia Clemens ’16, an unsuspecting freshman who has been cursed with the worst GRS number that exists on campus: 590. Clemens, who is pictured above standing in front of a tractor that may or may not be more spacious than her future living quarters, seems to be handling the situation pretty well. Instead of standing in the middle of Andrus moaning “Why meeeee,” she admits that “it’s kind of hilarious” and hopes to fare okay in the summer housing market (as students often do). “My mom wanted to ‘make a fuss,'” Clemens admits, “but I told her I didn’t think that would help.” (It wouldn’t.)
Here is our full interview with Julia Clemens ’16, Owner of the Worst GRS Number Currently In Existence at Wesleyan.
What is your GRS number?
How did you determine that it is the worst GRS number that exists?
The numbers for the last day of housing selection stop at 590.
Where do you live now?
A triple in Butt B.
Where were you hoping to live next year?
Where do you expect to live next year?
I think I’m probably going to have to be on the summer housing list, which I’ve heard is either really good or really bad. I’m hoping I won’t be put into a double with a freshman or anything. (Can that happen?) Maybe I will end up in Hewitt somehow!
What was your reaction upon finding out your number?
I actually didn’t realize it was the last number until my roommate told me and then I thought it was really funny and told a lot of people.
What was your friends’ reaction?
I think most of them are glad they don’t have the last number and they think it’s funny. I was told that if anyone were to have the last number it would be me.
What do your parents think about this?
My mom wanted to “make a fuss,” but I told her I didn’t think that would help. They also think it’s unfair that triples don’t get point boosts (which I kind of agree with). (Editor’s note: In past years, Clemens would have received a point bump simply for living in a triple. This recently changed, as Fran Koerting explained in an interview with Wesleying.)
Are you even bothering to go to GRS?
I’ll probably go at the end. I heard they have free food.
What’s the best part of having the worst GRS number?
It’s kind of hilarious.
What’s the worst part?
Having the worst GRS number.
What’s the best reaction you’ve received when you told someone your GRS number?
Mostly they thought I was exaggerating or laughed at me. Also, I told a lot of people who already knew, which was kind of weird; even some people that I didn’t know knew that I had the worst number somehow.
What’s your advice to other people dealing with GRS?
It’ll work out, don’t be too stressed. Or we can all just pretend to be freshmen and then take over their rooms.
*Sometimes it actually turns out okay. But no promises.
**I am only joking! She buried it on Amherst’s campus.