The Best Write-In Votes of the WSA Presidential and Vice-Presidential Elections

O Giant Joint, where art thou? 

Someone actually voted for Lil B this year, so I don’t feel bad using this image again.

Our long, national nightmare is over. Following an interview by schmox that rivals the University’s Reaccreditation Self-Study for length, the results of the WSA elections are in: Nicole Updegrove ’14 and Andrew Trexler ’14 will be taking seat as president and vice-president, respectively. (For anyone keeping score at home, this makes Updegrove the first female president of the WSA since Emily Polak ’05 served during the 2004-2005 academic year.) Write-in champion Giant Joint made an especially meager showing this year, receiving only 25 votes for president and 29 votes for vice-president (unless you count those three votes for “big blunt”) after a briefly resurrected social media presence:

As is pretty much traditional at this point, here are some of the most noteworthy write-in votes from the election. You can peruse the full results for yourself here.

In the category for president, where Updegrove’s 592 votes comfortably bested Jarris’s 433, Conway’s 128, and Joint’s 25, write-in votes went to apparent Giant Joint running mate “need-blind spliff” (3), as well as popular variations like “unusually large marijuana cigarette” (1), “giant jonit” (1), and “giant mufuk’n joint” (1). Additional single votes went to Mark Popinchalk ’13, Stefan Skripak ’13, batman, and “America.”

In the category for vice-president, the results were slightly more colorful, honoring everyone from Lil B to Ron Paul to Vermin Supreme. Hence, a list of write-in highlights:

  • “giant joint” (29)
  • “keith conway” (9)
  • “big blunt” (3)
  • “hobo on foss hill” (2)
  • “huge spliff” (2)
  • “i mean, does it even really matter? giant joint again.” (1)
  • “little joint” (1)
  • “the biggest spliff youve ever seen” (1)
  • “big spliff” (1)
  • “need-blind spliff: the giant joint of the people” (1)
  • “justin pottle will you go to prom with me” (1)
  • “cheesus christ” (1)
  • “michael roth’s tumor like 12 inch cock. its not so much the length but the girth thats impressive.” (1)
  • “sizeable spliff” (1)
  • “need-blind spliff” (1)
  • “need-blind blunt” (1)
  • “lil b, the based god” (1)
  • “slightly less rotund joint” (1)
  • “giant fucking joint” (1)
  • “need-blind vape” (1)
  • “average size but impeccably rolled spliff” (1)
  • “johnwar kennete” (1)
  • “ron paul” (1)

Unsuccessful candidates, take heed. In the words of Melodious, who ran a doomed campaign for president in 2011, “it gets better.”

Giant joint—now more than ever!

Tag: Giant Joint
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