The Onion: “New Michael Bay [’86] Romantic Comedy To Focus On Love Story Between 2 Explosions”

A photo that Mother Jones deems “The most Michael Bay photo in existence.”

From Holloman to Hollywood, Transformers make movie magic

The Onion, a satire publication (and “America’s Finest News Source,” according to itself), has released yet another article on Michael Bay ’86, director of films such as Transformers and Pearl HarborThis one is entitled “New Michael Bay Romantic Comedy To Focus On Love Story Between 2 Explosions”, picking on the director’s penchant for large explosions in his films:

According to Bay, who also wrote the script for the film, the rom-com centers around a type-A helicopter blast who thinks it has it all figured out when a free-spirited diesel truck explosion unexpectedly enters its life and shakes everything up.

“It’s really a nice little story because, on paper, these massive fireballs know they are wrong for each other, but they also have this undeniable connection they can’t ignore,” said Bay, adding that he’d actually been thinking about making a pared-down film about the small, everyday interactions between detonations since studying film in college. “This movie asks common, everyday questions like, ‘How does a jet-fueled explosion find love in this day and age?’ and ‘Can a high-octane blast really settle down? Or will it always chase any cheap-thrill oil tanker explosion any chance it gets?’”

“And the movie’s funny, too,” Bay added. “When a big misunderstanding leads to one explosion blowing up the Eiffel Tower and the other destroying the Empire State Building, well, let’s just say audiences are going to get a kick out of that scene.”

Like most Onion articles, this one is not immune to the idiocy of the internet. Literally Unbelievable, a page that heroically enshrines this idiocy for posterity by screenshotting and anonymizing people on Facebook interpreting stories by The Onion as real news, posted this:

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Also, this is not the first time that The Onion has made fun of Wesleyan’s most notorious film alum; in fact, it’s pretty much an annual affair. Here are some of The Onion‘s past articles about the guy:

CGI Team Creates Realistic Oscar for Michael Bay
Michael Bay Signs $50M Deal To Fuck Up ‘ThunderCats’
Nation Somehow Failed To Predict Attack By Michael Bay
Police Release Michael Bay’s Notebooks
Michael Bay Makes High Octane Trip To Grocery Store