Mysterious Sock Infestation in Butt A

If you’ve been in Butt A in the past few weeks, you may have noticed that the number of socks appearing outside their normal habitat have increased alarmingly. Instead of being located in drawers, on dorm room floors, and on feet, these rogue socks are found strewn about the laundry room, the staircases, the hallways, and even outside the building.

I assure you, you are not alone in your perplexity and concern. For weeks now, there have been many mumbled acknowledgments of the truants. Be wary, a friend’s good-humored confusion about a misplaced sock may be reason for suspicion. As more and more socks escape their habitual environments and spread themselves (seemingly at random, yet also covering most exit and entrance points in the dorm), students’ passive observation slowly leads to greater concern.

One can only imagine what the sock situation will escalate to in the few weeks leading up to Winter Break. What we can, and must, do is remain vigilant, and, most importantly, pay closer attention to our socks. You must enact particular vigilance in the loading, switching, and unloading process of doing your laundry. This seems like the most opportune moment for socks to decide to “go missing.”

Soyez prudent.