Dear Wesleyan students,
As you may or may not know, the end of November is quickly approaching. And, well, I’m not super optimistic that everyone who grew a beard this glorious month is planning to keep it for Thanksgiving–you may not want your drunk conservative uncle calling you a Marxist hippie. Totally understandable. Wait, that would probably be a point of pride for you.
Okay, I’ll get to the point: Before you clearcut your faceforest, please please please just snap a picture with your phone and send it to staff(at)wesleying(dot)org. Why? Because we have a professional team of dudes we found at the bus station who are going to judge them according to certain criteria, such as “best neard” (see past winner Thoreau) or, and I’m just spitballing here, maybe like, “thickest,” “reddest,” “patchiest,” “most well-sculpted,” etc.
Anyway, I really hope we get a lot of great submissions this year. I’ve seen some bitchingly fuzzy faces around campus, so I expect I won’t be disappointed. I will conclude with this factoid: The only member of ZZ Top without a beard is Frank Beard.
Enjoy your break!