ICYMI, we opened a write-in at the beginning of winter break. What follows is the sparse response to this write-in. It’s uh…
#1, 12/18/13, 5:39pm: Senior Sleep 4ever
Tell us things: i’m sad.
Class year: 2014
Tips to starve off boredom?: sleep forever
What do yo miss about Wes?: not much
Do you love me?: yeah!
Gah, Senior Sleep 4ever, you’ve said so much in so few words. You’re not alone and eventually something will excite you. Thank you for your love in time of sadness! perk up, eh?
#2, 12/18/13, 6:51pm: I talk bras with Granny
Tell us things: My grandmother lives with my family and we were chilling in the kitchen the other day when she asked me if I was in want of any items of clothing. I told her that, yes, I was planning to go bra shopping sometime the next week. Then she said “Oh? Well, I have…”
Now, my grandmother will be 89 in May, yet she frequently offers me her old clothing when she grows out of it (when it gets too big. she is shrinking). I’m not sure why she does this because we have wildly different styles because, for one thing, she was born in 1925 and I was born in 1992. I know old person things are in style now, blah blah, hipster, blah blah, but grammy’s clothes are neither stylish enough to look cool on me, nor oldperson enough to look ironically cool on me.
And so anyway for a realllllly panicky moment I thought grammy was about to offer me one of her old bras. SHE IS 88, AND I’VE SEEN HER BRAS WHEN SHE USES THE WASHER BEFORE ME AND THEY LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF BRAS AN 88 YEAR OLD WOMAN WEARS. Not that mine are that much cuter BUT STILL (sidenote–she did once ask to borrow a pushup bra from me, but that was in her younger days, when she was, say, 82. and it was only because she was dressing up for a medieval themed banquet with her elderly friends). This was a very scary moment for me. No one (most people) don’t want to think about their grandma’s undergarments, let alone inherit them.
FORTUNATELY she was about to tell me that she had coupons to Macey’s and wanted to know if I wanted to go bra shopping with her. So we’re gonna go tomorrow after her book club meeting (sidenote number two: for winter reading tips consult her. She’s on it.)Name/Class year: Yona Roberts-Golding ’14
Tips to starve off boredom?: Go bra shopping with your granny!
What do yo miss about Wes?: Everything. Literally. Especially Usdan lunch. and friends. please come save me.
Do you love me?: MORE THAN YOU KNOW, BB<3
This needs no analysis. It’s all just right here.
#3, 12/19/13, 12:58am: Employee.
Tell us things: Got a job after I graduate. What’d you do?
Class year: 2014
What do you miss most about Wes?: Bragging about how awesome I am.
Do you love me?: Eh.
Ye of real big ego. Though I’d like to be celebratory of your future employment, the panicked senior inside me wants to maybe kindly rip your face off. WHAT DOES EH. EVEN MEAN. Something tells me I know you, human.
#4, 12/25/13, 10:45pm: WiFiend
Tell us things: my internet connection at home sucks
Class year: 2014
What do you miss most about Wes?: the internet on campus
Do you love me?: if you’re wesstudent then yes
Your preoccupation with wifi connection is… charming.
#5, 12/26/13, 6:07pm: ?
Tell us things: I was going so crazy from boredom and negative nostalgia in my house that I called up a friend from high school and invited myself over to his apartment to hang out with him and his roommates who I don’t really know and don’t really like.
The combination of being happy to be out of the house and being awkward as hell around his crowd made me smoke too much and then proceeded to drive us REALLLLY SLOWLY to a (historical, but super grimy and kinda scary) bar. While everyone else was getting drunk off of 1$ pints I was silently sitting in the corner like a deer in the headlights staring at the pool table and feeling an overwhelming sad-almost-thirty-singles vibe from the crowd.who gets high and goes to a bar?
Class year: 2014
Boredom-avoiding tips?: Be very selective about which high school friends you choose to see. Sometimes no one has changed and that can be very sad.
What do you miss?: Not having to drive anywhere, aka not having to decide between being a DD and a DD, if you know what I mean.
but really, don’t drink and drive kids.
Love me?: yes.
Yes.
