“yeah, it’s gonna be turtleneck time for a couple of days”
Saturday morning, as I make my way through the hungover haze of fluorescent lighting and dire need for coffee that is WesWings brunch, a friend drops by to say hi. As we chat about whatever parties we went to the night before, I notice a reddish purple bruise peeking out from underneath the collar of hir shirt. If this person is a good friend, I’ll call them out on it. If I’m feeling lazy or don’t really know them or know who gave them said hickey and am laughing inwardly (possibly outwardly) about it, I won’t. Either way: I’m sorry. I’m not actually listening to you. I’m really just staring at your giant hickey. And I’m not actually sorry.
Hickeys are hilarious. They’re like a vampiric version of the way dogs pee on street corners to say: I was here. They’re the way we mark our territory, the way we give our casual hookups something that’ll last a lot longer than whatever moment we shared making out on a table at Beta. They’re a three day reminder of a one-night stand, the reason people wear scarves in the summertime, the awkward mark we try to hide whenever our parents come to visit. They’re also just a lot of fun to give and receive.
Here’s a collection of hickeys from people who probably had a better weekend than you. All photos were taken with the knowledge and consent of the hickey-ed individual.
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- “I just love her so much”
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- “yeah, it’s gonna be turtleneck time for a couple of days”
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- “if you look close, you can see where she bit me”
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- “what’s sad is that there’s a ton of concealer on it”
Put a cold spoon on the hickeys it should help them disappear faster lol