Forbes College Rankings Come Out, Suddenly We Care Because We’re No. 15

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For those of you who haven’t been following the buttload of obnoxious college rankings that come out every August/September, you’re in luck: Wesleyan is faring pretty damn well. A couple of the highlights and interesting tidbits:

1. Forbes ranked Wes number 15 on its 2014 list of best colleges in America. Impressive colleges we’re ranked higher than include Dartmouth, Northwestern, Columbia, Duke, and University of Chicago. Cue the awkward moment this summer when I used “So we beat you in the Forbes rankings” as a conversation starter with a current Dartmouth student. Whoops.

Why this matters: Last year the bitches at Forbes put us at number 39 for their 2013 college rankings, where we were uncomfortably squished between UNC-Chapel Hill (which has spent the past year dealing with accusations of giving athletes a pass on academics) and Bryn Mawr College (which has its name misspelled and mispronounced almost as much as Wesleyan).

2. In one of those random lists where The Huffington Post pretends it’s relevant when it comes to rankings, Wesleyan was ranked number 15 in a list of “Top 20 Colleges for Aspiring Writers”. A special shout out was given to Unlocked magazine.

3. Princeton Review (ugh, fucking Princeton Review) came out with a list of the 20 most LGBT-friendly colleges and Wesleyan was not on it, which surprised many students and alum alike.

4. The only college ranking that hasn’t come out yet: US News and World Report. Can we break the curse and finally not be number 17 on their list? Do we really care either way?

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5. To round out this college rankings roundup, here are some of the highlights from the #NewCollegeRankings hashtag on Twitter:

  • Commie Ayn Rand

    rankings are meaningless. all that matters is Where The First Domino Of The Self-Reliance Revolutionary Project Will Fall.