DRUNK, S0BER, H1GH: How to Destroy Higher Education Liveblog

LIVE.Aid_Roth

Hello. President Michael Roth is about to give a talk in the Chapel. Which I checked this morning for Wifi. Update: It has Wifi. Thank god. And we’re giving our loyal readers a treat: Wesleying is drunk-sober-high live blogging Roth’s talk. p-safe will be sober. gettincrunkman will be drunk. giantepgoynte will be high. Hilarity shall ensue. Bye.

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:06 PM

love u all, bye, xoxo, roth is a chipmunk, bye, xoxo

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:06 PM

SINGING OFF BYE BYE HAPPY CHRISTMAS

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:06 PM

OMG GUYS IT WAS FUN WE ARE GOING TO GO EAT FOOD IN DA PRESENCE OF ROTH

p-safe February 3, 20158:06 PM

okay signing off now bye

p-safe February 3, 20158:06 PM

THE CLAPPING HE’S DONE TALKING TIME TO EAT TIME TO EAT OMG HE SHOULD HAV ESTARTED HIS TALK WITH “THERE’S FOOD AND DRINK OVER THERE” NOT ENDED IT

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:06 PM

THEY CLAPPIN

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:06 PM

666 IS THE NUMBER OF THE DEVIL

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:05 PM

Michael Roth was born in 1957
1+5+9+7=21
2+1=3
3×2=6

p-safe February 3, 20158:05 PM

THERE’S FOOD

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:05 PM

‘are u disappointed there aren’t more wesleyan students at this speech?’

‘i’m grateful for those who came’

lol but half of da wes students here are DRUNK AND CRUNKMAN

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:05 PM

He says ” I’m glad any came at all ” good response roth

p-safe February 3, 20158:05 PM

roth is quote unquote delighted with how many students arrived to listen to his speech (is he delighted that 2+ of them are on substances)

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:05 PM

“are you sad more wes students aren’t at this speech” ohh ahahaha

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:05 PM

u go, girl w/ tissues, i love ’em

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:04 PM

GIRL W/ TISSUES HAS SOME FUCKING AWESOME GLASSES

p-safe February 3, 20158:04 PM

girl with tissues in front of me is whispering v passionately to person next to her

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:04 PM

~B00ZE~

~T3QU1L4 IZ G00D~

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:04 PM

Everyone go look up nipsters NAZI HIPSTERS. you will not be disappointed.

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:03 PM

“it’s harder with Nazi’s” I didn’t pay attention to the first part of that so…

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:03 PM

nazies make it hard

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:03 PM

b00z3

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:03 PM

he slipped the glass of water/childs blood because this question is so long

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:02 PM

can someone explain to me how this talk has a political element because i’don’t’get’it

p-safe February 3, 20158:02 PM

UPDATE I FIGURED OUT HOW TO UPLOAD PICTURES

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:02 PM

my friend’s mom (a wes alum) is here, i went home with them for thanksgiving, i wonder if she knows i’m ~~~drunk as fuck~~~

p-safe February 3, 20158:01 PM

how do u upload photos onto this thing i’m the sober one how do you guys know what you’re doing

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:01 PM

HE HAS THE LEGS OF A BABY SEA LION

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:01 PM

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:01 PM

don’t he look like a cute lil chipmunk http://wesleying.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Roth.jpg

p-safe February 3, 20158:00 PM

roth answering questoins

gettincrunkman February 3, 20158:00 PM

roth the sloth omg it rhymes

giantepgoynte February 3, 20158:00 PM

OH ARE THE SIMILARITIES A COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:59 PM

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:59 PM

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:59 PM

DID U GUYS SEE THIS HES A SLOTH

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:59 PM

p-safe February 3, 20157:59 PM

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:58 PM

omg this student is talking srsly about wesleyan like lol why aren’t u sitting up here drunk w us liveblogging ???????? it’s more fun this way????????

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:58 PM

AW WHAT A LOVE STORY LOVE YOU TO GETTIN CRUNK SIR

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:57 PM

also so is giantepgoynte even though i don’t understand ur username

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:57 PM

WE DONT CARE ARE U A VAMPIRE STOP STALLING

p-safe February 3, 20157:57 PM

strawberry fields forever @gettincrunkman

im sober so u can believe me

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:57 PM

p-safe xoxo your’e my favorite

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:57 PM

talking about liberal education in different types of schools

p-safe February 3, 20157:57 PM

giantepgoynte is making 2 many hand motions at us

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:56 PM

omg he’s talking about fields, are they soccer fields or football fields or educational fields

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:56 PM

the ra is gone, high guy should ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~chillaxxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:56 PM

“I think I see what you mean”- Roth, PS HE DOESNT SEE WHT YOU MEAN

p-safe February 3, 20157:55 PM

confirming the sexiness of the aforementioned voice @gettingcrunkman noted

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:55 PM

wtf is wrong w me

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:55 PM

THE RA WHO WROTE ME UP IS SO CLOSE GET READY TO PERISH

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:55 PM

someone is asking a q and has a very deep voice, bet roth is turned on by its pure manly sexiness

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:54 PM

Talking about what Free Speech is about balanced against being sensitive and checking your privilege ok tow the line mmmmhmhmm turning me on

p-safe February 3, 20157:54 PM

psa: my fav thing is typing morth its not a typo

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:54 PM

my computer has 69% battery lol

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:54 PM

Roth sign our asses please

p-safe February 3, 20157:53 PM

“who can be holier than the next guy”

no ones holier than u morth

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:53 PM

i don’t have his book but maybe roth will sign my ass

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:53 PM

HES A SLOTH NOT A VAMPIRE

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:53 PM

Michael Roth

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:52 PM

HES MAKING FUN OF THE WESLEYAN SNAPPING THING OK STOP

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:52 PM

what the fuck is happening, roth is like fucking clacking or something he’s like snapping it sounds sensual

p-safe February 3, 20157:52 PM

roth is snapping at his own comments now???

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:52 PM

racist or homophobic language, now where did that come from???????????

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:52 PM

What a time to be alive

p-safe February 3, 20157:52 PM

roth is talking abt free speech now

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:51 PM

we live in a world where this exists

p-safe February 3, 20157:51 PM

” a great majority of people are actually afraid to speak their minds” – mroth

excuse me have u seen the fighting couples in usdan

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:51 PM

i want a $.69 burrito from weshop

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:51 PM

Talking about disagreeing with professors and the consequences and I bet you did cuz you’re SMART OK WE GET IT OK

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:51 PM

omg we are totes hilar

p-safe February 3, 20157:50 PM

roth’s eyebrows are higher than @giantepgoynte

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:50 PM

Exclusive photo of Roth at the gym!!!!!!!!!

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:50 PM

p-safe February 3, 20157:50 PM

@gettingcrunkman http://wesleying.org/2015/02/01/getting-yoked-with-president-roth/

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:49 PM

THE ANSWER IS YES OK

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:49 PM

wait people are actually asking questions, wow, surprise

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:49 PM

Someone asked if Roth is a vampire

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:49 PM

HE JUST FINISHED AND SIPPED A DRINK IS IT WATER OR WINE INVESTIGATING OK

p-safe February 3, 20157:49 PM

question time

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:49 PM

he’s done, the applause is thundrous, but i’m mostly drunk, now he’s asking for questions,

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:48 PM

p-safe February 3, 20157:48 PM

cALPPING

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:48 PM

i actually probably haven’t looked at roth one time but goddamn it looks like he would have abs *drools*

p-safe February 3, 20157:48 PM

roth is doing that hand thing that elementary school kids do at their desks to get a gold star

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:48 PM

grandious

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:48 PM

“Liberal education in the us has been a resource to Americans looking to combat social inequality”

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:48 PM

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:47 PM

He is in his closing very grandious ending GET TO THE POINT ABOUT IT OK

p-safe February 3, 20157:47 PM

“delight in inquiry” -morth

kinky

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:47 PM

@giantepgoynte (a) i don’t understand ur username (b) roth is 2 parts vampire one part chipmunk

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:46 PM

Roth moves his hands in a funny way WHY ARE YOU MOCKING ME TINY MAN

p-safe February 3, 20157:46 PM

has anyone ever noticed how roth emphasizes the wrong words

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:46 PM

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:46 PM

it’s so cute how he’s talking about the benefits of college students and three college students are in the balcony, two of which are high or drukn, like lol roth do u really know who u are advocating for????????? xo

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:45 PM

LIKE ROTH ARE YOU A VAMPIRE YOU ARE RIGHT

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:45 PM

The lady came up here before it started and said “come down if you need to ask questions at the end” DONT THINK WE SHOULD BE ASKING QUESTIONS

p-safe February 3, 20157:45 PM

“after a certain amount of time you’re going to have to acquire the qualities that other people find valuable” sounds two faced mroth u phony

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:45 PM

i think he’s almost done but i don’t remember him starting

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:44 PM

UPDATE high guy is good at me me finding

p-safe February 3, 20157:44 PM

oh wait is he almost done

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:44 PM

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:44 PM

HE’S SPEAKING HIS FANIL WORDS AND I’M STILL ON CAPS LOCK :-( I’M GONNA MIS ROTHG

p-safe February 3, 20157:44 PM

gettincrunkman: *points at most recent post and whisper yells* ITS THE ADAMS FAMILY

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:44 PM

OH RIGHT ITS A SCOTTISH CURLER

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:44 PM

WHO IS THAT

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:43 PM

Vicki Adams

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:43 PM

DA DA DA DUM CLAP CLAP DA DA DA DUM CLAP CLAP DA DA DA DUM, DA DA DA DUM, DA DA DA DUM CLAP CLAP THEY’RE CREEPY AND THEY’RE SPOOKY MYSTERIOUS AND COOKY

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:43 PM

Sam Adams

p-safe February 3, 20157:43 PM

on a similar note does anyone know what the s in michael s roth stands for wikipedia doesn’t say

p-safe February 3, 20157:43 PM

“we fetishize independence” – michael s roth

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:43 PM

John Adams

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:43 PM

apparently

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:43 PM

Other famous Adams:

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:42 PM

WHO IS JANE ADAMS

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:42 PM

we fetishize indepence

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:42 PM

was jane adams on the adams family clap clap … clap clap

p-safe February 3, 20157:42 PM

gettingcrunkman just googled jane adams

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:42 PM

p-safe February 3, 20157:42 PM

no he’s back on white men you were so close

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:41 PM

what the fuck, piano?

p-safe February 3, 20157:41 PM

oh roth just mentioned jane adams s/o to the white ladies you’re getting closer buddy

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:41 PM

“the hardest thing is understanding why someone disagrees with us” JUST THROW A PIANO AT THEM

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:41 PM

who is jane adams isn’t she tequila?

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:40 PM

update the talk is boring just buy his book http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-University-Liberal-Education-Matters/dp/0300175515

p-safe February 3, 20157:40 PM

the best thing abt anonymous liveblogging is that i dont have to worry about fixing typos because nobody knows the face behind the sloppy typist!!!!

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:40 PM

HE TOOK HIS COAT OFF UPDATE RIPPLING AB ALERT

p-safe February 3, 20157:40 PM

update: roth joking abt interscetionalyity

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:40 PM

something bout intersectionality

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:39 PM

update: usdan was good tonight, pastabilities guy said “go head” and i got ~spaghetti~

p-safe February 3, 20157:39 PM

“she created a whole network of ppl who would take their talents and put them in the” shoot i lost the rest of the sentence i can’t transcribe quickly enough

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:39 PM

roth just almost took off his coat, high guy would’ve been able to check and see if roth has abs

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:38 PM

does roth have daddy issues, omg we are here for u roth

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:38 PM

MY FEELINGS 38 MINUTES IN

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:38 PM

oh ain’t nobody care about london

p-safe February 3, 20157:38 PM

IS SMITH A PERSON OMG

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:38 PM

“The most powerful father is a dead father” DADDY ISSUES MUCH AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

p-safe February 3, 20157:38 PM

“one day she’s walking down the street in london i think and she’s about to cross the road”

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:38 PM

NOW WE’RE TALKING ABOUT A STREET IN LONDON, OH THINGS ARE SPICING UP

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:37 PM

ITS A COLLEGE JK

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:37 PM

He is talking about someone going to Smith and there father doesn’t want them to. Is Smith a person

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:37 PM

this is a story about someone’s dad who dies after he tells his daughter something about going to Smith (all i know about Smith is that arianna huffington gave the commencement in 2013 and sounded so supremely GREEK)

p-safe February 3, 20157:37 PM

“and then she goes to smith”

p-safe February 3, 20157:37 PM

“she’s very destroyed by this and very angry, angry. and then her father dies” i should have paid attention to the beginning of this story

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:37 PM

I WILL LOL WITH YOU

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:36 PM

high dude is ~~~~~swaying~~~~~

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:36 PM

the audience just lolled but i was too drunk to lol too

p-safe February 3, 20157:36 PM

gettincrunkman points to his most recent post on my screen everytime he sends one

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:36 PM

i bet roth reads cosmo

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:36 PM


ROTH WHEN PPL COMPLAINED ABOUT NO SNOW DAY

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:35 PM

rt @p-safe

p-safe February 3, 20157:35 PM

is this an inappropriate space to use to subtweet ppl who bother me @mroth78

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:35 PM

Roth is telling like a story about history like no one cares we wanna know if u read cosmo or not UGHHHH

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:35 PM

term rwymts with spprm which is a GREEK WORD did u know that that beautiful goddess aphrodite was born from her father’s genitals in the foam of a sea (the word for foam is aphros)

p-safe February 3, 20157:35 PM

roth talking about a “beautiful forest” that’s got “the scars of human intervention”

p-safe February 3, 20157:34 PM

roth just gave a s/o to north carolina if that matters to anybody

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:34 PM

update i’m a shitshow and i’ve got a latin quiz tmrw omg :-(

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:34 PM

Term rhymes with SPERM AHAHAHAHA

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:34 PM

term? is that a word? i thought that was a time

p-safe February 3, 20157:33 PM

when roth goes uh duh uh uh duh

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:33 PM

roth almost forgot his third term he was like “my third term is … um … cooperate” but the joke is on him because i ~absolutely forgot his first and two terms~

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:33 PM

how the people in the front row feel RIGHT NOW

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:33 PM

kinda want roth’s glasses, they would prob make me look smexy

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:33 PM

shoutout to @lkherman for da ~tweet~ about us

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:32 PM

high guy done fucked up and lost the post goddammit

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:32 PM

roth

p-safe February 3, 20157:32 PM

s/o to the person livetweeting the liveblog via @wesleying

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:32 PM

Roth is like

p-safe February 3, 20157:31 PM

“ignite ur spirit” -morth

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:31 PM

Ben Franklin dissed Harvard Roth Just did to OOOHH BURN OOO

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:31 PM

if u want real notes on this experience u should be following p——safe

p-safe February 3, 20157:31 PM

@giantepgoynte marriage is just a social construct love is LOVE

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:31 PM

roth is saying something about college

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:30 PM

i am blessed to be in the presence of giantepgoynte

p-safe February 3, 20157:30 PM

I CAN’T

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:30 PM

when you realize that President Roth is married and you can’t love him

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:30 PM

frederick douglass read ~da bible~ and had ~a mistress~ wow, roth is teaching me ~history~, didn’t he get a phd in ~HISTORY~ oh wait it was from ~princeton~ so ain’t nobody ~kare about it~

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:29 PM

SHOUTOUT THE AMERICAN STUDY PROFESSORS OK WE LOVE YOU BOO BOO

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:29 PM

he said something about American Study Professors

p-safe February 3, 20157:29 PM

first woman mentioned tonight: frederick douglass’s mistress

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:29 PM

Talking about Slavery and Thomas Jefferson what is this talk about anymore

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:28 PM

if u guys could witness the high guy looking up memes

do u understand why high and guy rhyme

i don’t

p-safe February 3, 20157:28 PM

oh he’s reading off an ipad now to illustrate that ~small liberal arts colleges~ support ~technology in the classroom~

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:28 PM

roth is praying to da lord, but ain’t he jewish?????

p-safe February 3, 20157:28 PM

i just wish mroth opened his speech with kerry washington that would grab my attention u feel me

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:28 PM

walker was jeffersonian. somehow i don’t kare

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:27 PM

p-safe February 3, 20157:27 PM

“we white people” – mroth

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:27 PM

so @p-safe now white men are talking bout black men, but somehow it doesn’t feel much better update @p-safe is showing me fucking emails about stars

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:27 PM

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:26 PM

oh david walker was apparently a free black living in new england

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:26 PM

BASICALLY THE SUMMARY IS ROTH LOVES JEFFERSON OK FINE ILL POST MEMES OF HIM THEN

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:26 PM

i don’t know what roth is talking about who tf is david walker

p-safe February 3, 20157:26 PM

brb doing my fgss readings while ignoring roth

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:26 PM

when he gets excited he sounds like a young child who discovered santa claus

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:25 PM

i’m hot as hell, my sensitive southern skin can’t handle this shit

p-safe February 3, 20157:25 PM

btw @giantepgoynte: yes 2 mozz sticks

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:25 PM

omg giantepgoynte i don’t even understand your username

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:25 PM

he said a bunch of words with “garchy” at the end of it I LIKE THOSE WORDS PS

p-safe February 3, 20157:25 PM

‘sprinkle in a few poor people to make them feel more… well rounded.”

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:25 PM

it’s not jefferson the hypocrite that is important, it’s jefferson the vision of education

i thought we were going to talk about destroying education why are we talking about jefferson why

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:25 PM

LOOK HOW HAPPY HE IS

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:24 PM

p-safe February 3, 20157:24 PM

i’m so so so SO over white men talking abt white men in their white men speeches

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:24 PM

i’m a touchy feely drunk, i want to touch the bald head of the guy that introduced roth

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:23 PM

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:23 PM

“The goal is not to end up as a minister or scientist, or general. The goal is inquiry of self” BRB IM BLUSHING

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:23 PM

jefferson went to harvard and roth went to wesleyan, ok

p-safe February 3, 20157:23 PM

gettincrunkman is a touchy feely drunk and my thigh is worried

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:23 PM

DONT MIND IF I DO

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:23 PM

@p-safe noted

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:22 PM

He has a face that makes me feel at home

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:22 PM

hey p-safe and giantepgoynte do y’all want to go get mozzarella sticks @ latenite after this

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:22 PM

If we have to rate him on a 1 to 10 scale what do we say cuz he is cute maybe like 7/8

p-safe February 3, 20157:22 PM

just noticed girl in front of me brought a box of tissues

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:22 PM

Every time Roth says Institution, or Higher, or Education TAKE A SHOT

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:22 PM

i’m bored

p-safe February 3, 20157:21 PM

“let’s not b harvard” – mroth

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:21 PM

1. liberate 2. adamate 3. cooperate 4. instigate

roth is being humble about why there are only four point things and now he’s talking about thomas jefferson wow i’ve been to mount vernon have you?

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:21 PM

Just gave Thomas Jefferson the cosign

p-safe February 3, 20157:21 PM

gettingcrunkman just stroked my elbow to get my attention and i was trying to type and i’m v uncomfortable

p-safe February 3, 20157:21 PM

“the american dream that education should be a vehicle not for privieglege but for change”

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:21 PM

“I want to sketch for you that history the american dream” OMG TALK DIRTY TO ME MICHAEL

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:20 PM

btw when i went to the pisser i realized whilst i was stumbling that i’m still drunklkkkkkkkk~~~~~

p-safe February 3, 20157:20 PM

taking selfies during the talk

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:20 PM

i don’t even know what he’s talking about

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:20 PM

he has disappeared from my limited field of vision

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:19 PM

ROTH PRONOUNCES THE E IN ACADEMIA

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:19 PM

He is mic-ed but no MIC IS VISIBLE. Will investigate

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:19 PM

why is roth going to school????? why?????????? WHY~~~~??????

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:19 PM

its slick and tight it looks like hes got ripping abs under that gucci suit

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:18 PM

the balcony is fucking hot

p-safe February 3, 20157:18 PM

wow just realized i was supposed to be paying attention to the things coming out of roths mouth

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:18 PM

Can we just talk about Roths suit

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:18 PM

omg this is emotionally trying and taxing i’m bored

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:18 PM

He’s trying to sound humble right now ugh so sexy

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:18 PM

roth is blurry

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:18 PM

roth just said i’m gonna major in history psychology and theory except it sounded like i’mgonnamajorinhistorypsychologthry

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:18 PM

He said a bunch of words very fast why

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:17 PM

Here Roth goes

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:17 PM

roth is like lol firstgen

p-safe February 3, 20157:17 PM

he’s far away on the stage thing but his microphone is so loud i can hear him in my brain

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:17 PM

update everything came out okay
update 2 that was a long walk to the basement of the chapel for not very much
update 3 roth is here

p-safe February 3, 20157:16 PM

yeah right like i’m going to clap for you mroth

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:16 PM

THE RA JUST GAVE ME A DIRTY LOOK. YOU HAVE NO CONTROL ON ME HERE SOCERESS

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:16 PM

I really don’t like PitBull

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:16 PM

Something about Pitbull I think

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:15 PM

old white guy is still talking.

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:15 PM

p-safe February 3, 20157:15 PM

i’m so bored why do i have to be sober for this

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:14 PM

they are literally just putting him on such a pedestal now. WE NO U R SMART ROTH OK

p-safe February 3, 20157:14 PM

i can already feel the friendship developing between us. sober/drunk/high does something to a relationship

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:13 PM

they just laughed when he said he hadn’t finished a book AHAHAHAHA you failure they said

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:13 PM

gonna go pee brb

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:13 PM

i gotta pee

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:13 PM

Can’t think of any others WILL GET BACK TO YOU

p-safe February 3, 20157:13 PM

bald guy is saying mroth went to princeton gag

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:12 PM

Other famous Roth’s:
Tim Roth
Phillip Roth

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:12 PM

i can feel myself getting less drunk, someone bring a flask to the balcony

p-safe February 3, 20157:12 PM

i can’t stop giggling people on substances make me so happy

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:12 PM

ROTH-Y THE SNOW MAN AHAHA

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:12 PM

http://wesleying.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/roth10.bmp

p-safe February 3, 20157:11 PM

i actually can’t look at giantepgoynte rn

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:11 PM

i think he’s about to post one of a snowman

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:11 PM

high guy has a shit ton of photos of m roth open on google images, this is important

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:11 PM

did i spell montesquieu right

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:11 PM

oh this guy is talking about his syllabus omg i’m not in class i don’t care about montesquieu

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:11 PM

THIS GUY IS BALD HES SO BALD

p-safe February 3, 20157:10 PM

is using baldness as a descriptor a form of discrimination

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:10 PM

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:10 PM

he said Roth used to be skinnier Aahahahahahahaha truth

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:10 PM

this bald guy said he used to have red hair

GINGERS HAVE NO SOUL

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:10 PM

“he was a freshman here at wesleyan. I was a member of the history department. A lonely instructor.” Sounds like Adam Sandlers next movie

p-safe February 3, 20157:09 PM

@gettincrunkman: roth isn’t a pronoun

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:09 PM

he has a high pitched voice kind of like mine (goddammit mom stop making fun of me for my high voice)

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:09 PM

there is an old person talking now. WHO IS HE WHAT HAS HE DONE

p-safe February 3, 20157:09 PM

people are clapping for the man who entered the stage. he’s bald! you expect us to believe this is mroth?

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:09 PM

it’s beginning, there’s some guy introducing me i mean roth i forget what pronouns are

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:09 PM

and we’re off folks

p-safe February 3, 20157:08 PM

in the unlikely event of an emergency fire exits can be found behind you or on either side of me

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:08 PM

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:08 PM

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:07 PM

roth hasn’t started talking about that book thing yet and it’s fucking 7 after 7

p-safe February 3, 20157:07 PM

casually checking emails while mroth still decides to show up late to his own party. what a diva.

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:07 PM

PS the RA who wrote me up moved behind me. Target is in sight.

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:07 PM

i was using gender neutral pronouns to preserve anonymity but it got to be too much

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:06 PM

why does the high one like paul ryan (ps i can never remember his username)

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:06 PM

My mother asked me what I was doing later. This is why no one loves me.

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:06 PM

p-safe has chocolate in her shirt

p-safe February 3, 20157:06 PM

i just found chocolate in my shirt

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:05 PM

I wanna just post Paul Ryan memes. love Paul Ryan

p-safe February 3, 20157:04 PM

classic mroth being fashionably late to the podium

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:03 PM

my last post has a de-anonymizing factor if you look hard enough for it xo

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:02 PM

did i post about how we’re all class of ’18 up here xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:01 PM

i have 84% battery on my macbook and something% BAC so let’s make this work

giantepgoynte February 3, 20157:00 PM

p-safe just asked if the wesleying address ended with .edu IT DOES NOT SPOILER

gettincrunkman February 3, 20157:00 PM

this is the chipmunk photo https://www.facebook.com/wesleyan.university/photos/pb.29396949994.-2207520000.1423007959./10150465605704995/?type=3&theater

p-safe February 3, 20157:00 PM

GIANTEPGOYNTE JUST SAID HE LOOKS LIKE HE STOLE SOMEONE’S FACE AND PUT IT ON HIS OWN FACE I CAN’T DEAL WITH ANYTHING ANYMORE

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:59 PM

i gotta find a pic of chipmunk roth

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:59 PM

do i go to wesleying university (it autocorrected to weaseling) or wesleyan university

giantepgoynte February 3, 20156:58 PM

the podium is so small… but aren’t we all in this life?

p-safe February 3, 20156:58 PM

mroth stood back up

giantepgoynte February 3, 20156:57 PM

ROTH IN SUIT ROTH IN SUIT

giantepgoynte February 3, 20156:57 PM

Update an RA who wrote me up earlier this year is in our row.

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:57 PM

roth sometimes looks like a chipmunk

p-safe February 3, 20156:57 PM

mroth sat down

p-safe February 3, 20156:56 PM

mroth mingling with one limp hand on his left side

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:56 PM

i see roth

p-safe February 3, 20156:56 PM

THE MAN OF THE HOUR HAS WALKED IN

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:55 PM

y’all are posting ab me

giantepgoynte February 3, 20156:55 PM

gettincrunkman is having some real trouble getting numbers here

p-safe February 3, 20156:55 PM

gettingcrunkman: I PRESSED ADD NEW CONTACT FOUR TIMES

p-safe February 3, 20156:54 PM

gettingcrunkman: oH NO cancel cancel cancel done done cancel cancel

p-safe February 3, 20156:54 PM

sober drunk high ppl bonding and exchanging phone numbers. the other two r not doing it rite

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:54 PM

update: the drunk-high-sober gang are exchanging numbers

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:53 PM

CLASS OF ’18 REPRESENT IN THE BALCONY OF THE CHAPEL

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:53 PM

i bet he won’t give me my diploma

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:53 PM

roth is going to hate us

p-safe February 3, 20156:52 PM

gettincrunkman can’t stop giggling even tho nothing has happened yet

giantepgoynte February 3, 20156:52 PM

As I was walking into the chapel I saw a women with a clicker and said “oh shit I need tickets for this right.” She just stared. God Bless America y’all

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:52 PM

WE ARE HAVIN’ FUN

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:52 PM

I AM DRUNK

giantepgoynte February 3, 20156:51 PM

I AM HIGH

p-safe February 3, 20156:51 PM

update: gained visual on mroth on way to urination facilities. last scene man-chuckling in a conference room

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:50 PM

we are a shitshow btw can i say shit show ???

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:49 PM

what the fuck is the high guy’s name even

p-safe February 3, 20156:48 PM

pre-roth talk bathroom break, brb.

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:48 PM

so let me tell you about to night: i boozedanned

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:46 PM

high friend just texted “how to i get to balcony?” also ze just used hir verbs wrong in a previous group message

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:46 PM

where’s our highhihighhi frined? where’s roth? where’s everyone? why am i on the balcony of the chapel

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:45 PM

By the way, hi, I’m getting crunk man, also known as gettincrunkman, omg, high. hi. high. hi?

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:44 PM

where’s roth and his dimply smile omg

p-safe February 3, 20156:44 PM

So, p-safe checking in here. giantepgoynte is getting “high as we spoke see u soon”

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:44 PM

We interrupt our regularly scheduled broadcasting to announce that ~GETTIN CRUNK MAN IS DRUNK~

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:44 PM

MY LEGS FEEL LONG

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:44 PM

HAHAHAHA CLUB GOIN’ UP ON A TUESDAY

gettincrunkman February 3, 20156:43 PM

OMG