LIVEBLOG: WesFest Campus Tour

wesleyan-university

Hey y’all! Come hang out on Wesleying today at 3pm for a super cool WesFest feature: Dasha, astag_rockyand Jackson will be liveblogging a campus tour! We’re going to try our hardest to pass inconspicuously as prefrosh. It may work, it may not. Who knows. This is probably a great feature for prefrosh who aren’t able to visit Wesleyan before making their college decision. Well, actually, it’s probably not. But it should be funny. Bye.

astag_rocky April 15, 20152:49 PM

Ayo ayo bout to get this shit poppin

astag_rocky April 15, 20152:49 PM

Prefrosh aren’t safe

Jackson April 15, 20152:51 PM

Omg

Jackson April 15, 20152:52 PM

This is so great this is going to be so much fun wow btw we are ~not~ sober drunk high for this one

astag_rocky April 15, 20152:53 PM

Contrary to popular belief we R v sober

Jackson April 15, 20152:53 PM

The admissions people are so cute and encouraging

Dasha April 15, 20152:54 PM

Except for when they loudly announce that were live blogging and aren’t Prefrosh

Jackson April 15, 20152:55 PM

BTW, WESLEYING PEEPS: Dasha, astag and I are live blogging from our iPhones! It’s possible!

astag_rocky April 15, 20152:55 PM

Lowkey malia Obama is rumored to be on our tour

astag_rocky April 15, 20152:56 PM

Jk but wouldn’t that be dope

Jackson April 15, 20152:56 PM

PREFROSH: spotted

Jackson April 15, 20152:58 PM

Shoutout to Janie Mortell ’18, tour guide. Wesleying ~loves~ you.

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:00 PM

Is the prefrosh wearing a large Wesleyan football shirt playing next year or is he just a friend of the program? Stay tuned

Jackson April 15, 20153:00 PM

Omg it is getting started wow

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:00 PM

And hereeee we go

Dasha April 15, 20153:00 PM

Best dressed tour guides in the ‘cac

Jackson April 15, 20153:00 PM

Tour guides have assured us that they don’t bite

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:01 PM

Lowkey my Johns Hopkins tour guide fell walking backwards last year

Dasha April 15, 20153:01 PM

Omg it’s the backwards walking thing. FYI we walk forwards because we’re forward thinking

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:01 PM

Suffice to say that was a deal breaker

Jackson April 15, 20153:02 PM

Omg this is literally surreal wow

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:02 PM

Over/under on how many moms and prefrosh I will flirt with on this tour (5 maybe)

Jackson April 15, 20153:02 PM

Omg we are on the tour

Dasha April 15, 20153:02 PM

Gross

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:03 PM

How familiar R we with campus? Still not

Jackson April 15, 20153:03 PM

I told people where I was from and Aaron and Dasha didn’t

Jackson April 15, 20153:03 PM

Also told Janie that I didn’t know anything about the campus

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:04 PM

First question im asking: how do I join beta?

Dasha April 15, 20153:04 PM

Tbh Jackson is not good at acting like a prefrosh

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:04 PM

“Ohh this weather it’s so good”- tour guide

Jackson April 15, 20153:05 PM

There is a guy whose name is reed or Reid but whichever one it is he assured us that the way he spells it is the best way

Jackson April 15, 20153:06 PM

We are going to mingle with the prefrosh

Jackson April 15, 20153:06 PM

We are in the CFA wow

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:07 PM

Perks of the cfa according to tour guides: we have tunnels

Jackson April 15, 20153:07 PM

Janie is giving us scenarios about cello-related injuries so basically the CFA and the health center are relevant to each other

Dasha April 15, 20153:08 PM

Janie- “film is a selling point”

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:08 PM

Word way to sell it

Jackson April 15, 20153:08 PM

TUNNELS

Dasha April 15, 20153:08 PM

HIMYM

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:08 PM

And the first HIMYM reference

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:09 PM

Probably don’t mention Michael bay tho as a selling point

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:09 PM

Tour guide just said oh yeah we have MGMT coming back

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:10 PM

SHE LIVES

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:10 PM

*LIES

Jackson April 15, 20153:10 PM

I need to pee

Jackson April 15, 20153:11 PM

Aaron talks to prefrosh

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:11 PM

First flirting attempt

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:11 PM

Somewhat unsuccessful

Jackson April 15, 20153:11 PM

Dasha says, “hold it”

Dasha April 15, 20153:12 PM

Fail

Dasha April 15, 20153:12 PM

Aaron asks about naked dorm

Jackson April 15, 20153:12 PM

JANIE IS TALKING ABOUT THE NAKED DORM

Jackson April 15, 20153:13 PM

WE ARE TALKING ABOUT NUDITY

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:13 PM

Naked dorm doesn’t apparently exist

Jackson April 15, 20153:13 PM

WEST CO SHOuTOUT

Dasha April 15, 20153:14 PM

“Cool people call west college westco”

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:14 PM

“We need to get down to the nitty gritty” ooooo im ready tour guide

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:14 PM

So the naked dorm doesn’t exist and apparently mgmt always comes back. This tour is a font of misinformation

Jackson April 15, 20153:15 PM

Everyone turns around to look at north college

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:15 PM

Talking about how if u lose ur wesid it’s ok ppl help u immediately

Dasha April 15, 20153:15 PM

Shoutout to MRoth “he kills it at the gym”

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:16 PM

Jk you’re fucked actually

Jackson April 15, 20153:16 PM

Now we are talking about Roth

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:16 PM

Talking about roth how she loves to see him killing it at the gym ????????????

Dasha April 15, 20153:17 PM

Gen eds are definitely forced upon you

Jackson April 15, 20153:17 PM

“General education expectations” tbh we are really spoiled but THOSE DAMN GEN EDS SUCK ASS

Dasha April 15, 20153:17 PM

Tour next to us also mentions HIMYM

Dasha April 15, 20153:18 PM

Aaron and Jackson freak out Prefrosh with enthusiasm and lies

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:18 PM

“You don’t have to declare a major here”

Jackson April 15, 20153:18 PM

Aaron just told prefrosh that “from what I heard you never have to declare a major”

Jackson April 15, 20153:19 PM

Aaron is deciding between “Harvard Yale and Princeton”

Dasha April 15, 20153:19 PM

Aaron just told Prefrosh he got into harvard

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:20 PM

Pro tip our mascot used to be the lavender Methodists

Dasha April 15, 20153:20 PM

Third HIMYM reference

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:20 PM

And the HIMYM reference tally is 3

Jackson April 15, 20153:20 PM

HIMYM references: 3

Jackson April 15, 20153:21 PM

In the Heights references: 1

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:21 PM

Take a shot everytime they talk about HIMYM

Jackson April 15, 20153:22 PM

Wesleyan gives zero fucks about legality tbh

Dasha April 15, 20153:24 PM

Attempts to ask about vegan food: 3

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:25 PM

How’s the vegan food??

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:25 PM

We tried to ask why we lost to oberlin in vegan food

Jackson April 15, 20153:26 PM

We got Janie talking shit about oberlin with the vegan food question

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:26 PM

Tour guide not amused

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:27 PM

Dasha and Jackson both went to the bathroom not sure what the fuck I’m supposed to do

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:27 PM

Gunna keep the flame alive

Jackson April 15, 20153:27 PM

I took a pee break, very relieved

Jackson April 15, 20153:29 PM

Aaron tried unsuccessfully to sit in the thing in olin

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:30 PM

Gunna ask about zonker harris stay tuned

Jackson April 15, 20153:30 PM

Tbh I don’t know who my peer advisor is, I thought that was only a thing for orientation??

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:30 PM

“You’re granted an advisor and peer advisor from the moment u get here” except they don’t give a shit about u

Jackson April 15, 20153:31 PM

SARN? Wtf is SARN?

Jackson April 15, 20153:31 PM

Aaron asks about Zonker Harris Day. Janie says, “I bet you can Facebook that.”

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:32 PM

She said she wasn’t cool enough to know what zonker harris day is

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:32 PM

Me neither honestly

Jackson April 15, 20153:32 PM

Someone shouts “AARON” very loudly, ruining our cover

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:33 PM

Me neither honestly

Jackson April 15, 20153:33 PM

Our cover has been blown

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:33 PM

Someone yelled Aaron out the window of clark way to blow my cover bro

Dasha April 15, 20153:34 PM

I’m pretty sure no one thought we were Prefrosh for the past 20 minutes

Jackson April 15, 20153:34 PM

We suck at this!

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:34 PM

Peter Dunphy and Danielle Cohen class of 2018 thanks for nearly completely blowing our cover cheers guys

Dasha April 15, 20153:35 PM

I really want a smoothie. But I left my wescard. Damn

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:35 PM

It’s fine were back in this bitch no one knows

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:36 PM

She said there is a live strain of Ebola on campus

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:36 PM

WTF

Jackson April 15, 20153:36 PM

EBOLA’ EBOLA! EBOLA!

Dasha April 15, 20153:36 PM

Aaron attempts to convince prefrosh we might get ebola

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:36 PM

So there may be an outbreak it’s possible like technically

Jackson April 15, 20153:37 PM

Kyle Hardy ’18 has joined the fuck-with-Janie’s-tour group

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:37 PM

Someone asked about do we get more funding for research than Williams and Amherst please do less

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:38 PM

OMG WE HAVE TO ASK ABOUT CLIMATW CHANGE IS RACIST

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:38 PM

Update she doesn’t know why it’s racist

Jackson April 15, 20153:39 PM

Aaron asks about buying cigarettes

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:40 PM

Jackson just asked if wesshop is like a gas station. Response: yes it doesn’t sell cigarettes tho

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:41 PM

Tour guide handled the question where is the best place to smoke very well

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:42 PM

Heading into freeman

Dasha April 15, 20153:42 PM

Walking into freeman: my home

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:42 PM

It’s a shame we show ppl Bennett but not the butts for a more authentic Wesleyan experience

Jackson April 15, 20153:43 PM

WOW IM GOING TO FREEMAN FOR LIKE THE FIRST TIME MAYBE EVER

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:43 PM

Jackson wants everyone to know this is his first time in freeman

Jackson April 15, 20153:44 PM

I hate you Aaron I’ve been to the gym three times

Dasha April 15, 20153:44 PM

We should go to the pool

Jackson April 15, 20153:44 PM

Let’s go swimming

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:44 PM

Bragging about our “Olympic sized swimming pool”

Jackson April 15, 20153:45 PM

We used to be purple like Amherst and Williams but now we’re red so I guess that’s liberating — Janie, basically

Jackson April 15, 20153:46 PM

Mentions of Michael Roth killing it on the stair machine: 2

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:46 PM

She’s literally describing how roth looks in a sweaty gray shirt and how that is cool

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:46 PM

Like this is not a drill she’s talking about his sweat

Dasha April 15, 20153:47 PM

Mom asks whether people from Cali die from the weather here. Update: I am still alive

Jackson April 15, 20153:47 PM

Prefrosh and mom get into an argument about speaking up on tours

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:49 PM

Third president roth mention in relation to being at the gym

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:49 PM

To Bennett we go

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:51 PM

And over here president Roth may be taking a shit so look out for that

Jackson April 15, 20153:54 PM

Aaron, to prefrosh: enjoy your youth while you can, that’s so beautiful to me

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:54 PM

Just told these juniors to “hold onto their youth while they can”

Dasha April 15, 20153:55 PM

We switched tours

Jackson April 15, 20153:55 PM

JANIE, it was real, it was fun!

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:56 PM

There is a parent violently staring me down right now

astag_rocky April 15, 20153:56 PM

Update she is still staring boring a hole into my fragile soul

Jackson April 15, 20153:56 PM

Parent asks about Greek life wow

Jackson April 15, 20153:59 PM

Omg now she’s talking about Buffy lol

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:01 PM

New tour new vegan and naked dorm questions

Jackson April 15, 20154:01 PM

Aaron was offered weed it was funny

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:01 PM

And that was jack and Alex who just offered everyone a bowl

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:01 PM

Thanks guys

Jackson April 15, 20154:02 PM

So we asked the new tour guide about naked dorms and vegan food and then she ~outed us~ as Wesleying bloggers :(

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:02 PM

We were just offered the marijuana I wanna make that clear

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:02 PM

Everyone is outing us on foss

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:03 PM

FUCK

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:04 PM

Tour is about to come to an end. Wanna give a quick shoutout again to those who offered us illegal drugs and the tour guide who outed us after we asked about the naked only dorm

Dasha April 15, 20154:04 PM

We would be terrible as spies

kitab April 15, 20154:07 PM

I laughed at y’all walking along staring at your phones

Dasha April 15, 20154:07 PM

Aaron’s making friends

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:07 PM

Last stop. Almost home baby

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:07 PM

Talking to this one girl may try and finesse her # stay tuned

Jackson April 15, 20154:08 PM

Now we are talking about the WSA omg

Dasha April 15, 20154:08 PM

High school sophomore

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:08 PM

Update: she is a 10th grader. NVM SHIT

Jackson April 15, 20154:09 PM

I think Aaron completely forgot he was flirting with a hs sophomore

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:09 PM

Tour guide selling us on why Wesleyan #thisiswhy

Dasha April 15, 20154:10 PM

“Wesleyan is so passionate” says the tour guide as if seeing the situation

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:10 PM

I feel icky inside

astag_rocky April 15, 20154:10 PM

And that concludes this live blog of a Wesleyan your. God bless yall.